So... any single ladies out there?

All right First Years. There are a few things you need to learn.

1. I'm God, but I go by the name of Matt.
2. Don't touch my shit if you want to keep your finger prints.
3. If you ever pass up the chance to see a naked girl, you'll get a visit from the fag fairy.

You know why bad things happen to people? Because you're obviously touching yourself at night when Jesus is watching. He doesn't want to see that shit.

So maybe next time you could shout out a warning and you won't almost die.

Apparently I look hotter today according to some of the girls.

[[ooc; Chace Crawford!PB for Matt.]]

I can't see my floor.

You know what, screw this, it's too hot for pants. Today is no pants Thursday.

ALFRED AND RAIMEI WERE MAKING BABIES IN A CLOSET LIKE PROFESSOR NIA AND PROFESSOR SANZO!

WHY DO I KEEP DYING?!

This is some fucked up shit.

I thought that weekend was rather successful.