It's not really self control - it's my mind/ED controlling me. If it says I can't eat that then I won't, but sometimes it tells me to eat everything everywhere and that's what I do. I was actually caught licking cheesecake off the plastic they put around the individual slices once, by a ticket inspector on a train. That was slightly embarrassing :D
I did a post about it ages ago on pan but lots of eating disordered people are also list makers. It's a control thing, I think. I have lists to organise all my lists.
Fucking hell, I wasn't trying to make people sad! Sorry hun, last thing you need is me depressing you innit.
I'm actually doing ok - a couple of times this week I put everything into mfp and decided that I needed MORE calories. In the past I would've been happy to have a low-cal day, but now I'm focussing more on how much protein I eat and getting enough food to keep going to the gym. I just find writing lists calms me down when I'm worried or feeling overwhelmed about things, but it's not really something anyone else needed to see so sorry.
I hope you're doing ok today. Your letter is mostly done so I'll try and get in in the post for tomorrow x
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I think making lists it's cool. It's good to sit down and think what you have to do.
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I did a post about it ages ago on pan but lots of eating disordered people are also list makers. It's a control thing, I think. I have lists to organise all my lists.
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I'm actually doing ok - a couple of times this week I put everything into mfp and decided that I needed MORE calories. In the past I would've been happy to have a low-cal day, but now I'm focussing more on how much protein I eat and getting enough food to keep going to the gym. I just find writing lists calms me down when I'm worried or feeling overwhelmed about things, but it's not really something anyone else needed to see so sorry.
I hope you're doing ok today. Your letter is mostly done so I'll try and get in in the post for tomorrow x
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