Me: mom I can

hey! i am in a band. i picked up a bass for the first time on sunday night (first lesson with my band's guitarist jim, who is a sweetie) and i loooove it. it's so sexy. i love the way it's sound FEELS. all i do is sit around and practice the blues scale: 14/123/13/13 LOVE IT ( Read more... )

once i had this boyfriend who refused to accept that girls took shits. he covered his ears and hummed whenever i talked about it. one time he really pissed me off and i followed him around his house saying 'your mom takes big shits' over and over. i think it's the closest a man has ever come to hitting me. i also think it was one of my finer ( Read more... )

a phrase that really annoys me:

"no worries"

ok i work with stupid fashion bitches. this is because i work in the stupid fashion bitch industry. nuff said ( Read more... )

the boy i have a crush on -was weird and ambiguous and drove me nuts. -came all the way to manhattan just to ride home with me in a cab (sweet or booty call-esque?). Redeeming factor: - gave me an awesome mix cd ( Read more... )

Message from Cake:

Ah 1973

i skipped work today. i called my boss and told her i have scarlet fever. she said: really? i said: i don't know but i think i might be dying. she was very sympathetic and told me not to come in tomorrow if i'm not feeling well. score ( Read more... )

i usually get this weird depressed malaise on sunday nights and cry a little bit and have to be hugged up and given sleeptime tea and put to bed. i avoided it last night by going out to a rad show, safe in the knowledge that monday didn't count cause i had NO WORK. But it's snuck up and bit me in the ass: delayed reaction. So here i am monday ( Read more... )

Dear God:

I want to trade the men on this planet in for new ones please.

They're all fucking retarded.

And could you put a few more of the taller ones in this batch?

Thanks.

You the man.