Dinner at Wasabi Bistro. Sushi, two rolls. Company included one lead vocalist in a certain electronica band and that vocalist's boyfriend, flown in fresh from London. It was an enchanting evening. Post-dinner entertainment included a drop in to TaBella (commonly known as Ta-Hell-a because it is such a ferociously bad nightclub, in music, decor ( Read more... )

I am a wreck. Loneliness will do that to a person. You become fixated on the weirdest things. Instead of being able to have a conversation with a person, you have a conversation with yourself. You discuss film, theater, art, politics. Instead of playing a game with someone else, you play a game by yourself. Solitaire... what a concept. ( Read more... )

I don't want what I want enough to pay the price of getting it.

I was just thinking about one of my messaging screen names. Neo Darkness. I've had it since I was 17. I never changed it, mostly because I want to make sure I have it if one of my old friends I've not heard from in years comes on or something. The real reason is that I hate change. But I was thinking about that name, neo darkness, and what it ( Read more... )

It's tricky at best. At worst, it's a downright quagmire. Ever notice how very much like cancer love is? You can try and prevent it, close yourself off to it, spend time developing yourself physically and spiritually, cleansing, going within, and yet... and yet without warning, one day you take stock of yourself and realize something's not right ( Read more... )

The heart is a funny thing. Not the chunk of matter inside my chest: that concerns me very little. Fate gives life and takes it away, it isn't my place to question or be concerned by it. But the other heart... I'm quite interested in that. Love is entirely determined and guided by chance, it seems. Or perhaps it is simply an end product of ( Read more... )

My fingers lose all motivation to interpret my thoughts into words. This scares me. I had launched into some extended, pretentious discourse of what exactly my words mean to me, making much use of literary device. I couldn't finish it. "My words are my cover, the shield against which all of life . . ." My fingers trail off, on strike against ( Read more... )

Well, I got a job. It's not the job that I wanted, but it's a good one nonetheless. It involves running sound for a shwanky jazz dinner and nightclub in downtown Seattle. On the plus side, it's steady, relatively easy work that I am comfortable doing, in an environment that is pretty comfy and cool. On the negative side, I lose my nights and ( Read more... )

I have my second ever "official" job interview on Monday. The first one I had I totally bombed on because I was timid, shy, and completely lacking the confidence that I was even worth the time it took them to see me. Hopefully it will be different this time. Yeah.... I'm gonna go get trashed tonight because I'm nervous already ( Read more... )

I realized tonight that in my life, no matter how hard I try, I am not going to write songs that the next generation will treasure. I am not going to write songs that will move people. I am not going to write songs that anyone but I will adore.

Therefore, I'm not going to write songs anymore. Good night and good luck.