Sometimes - when I look at them - my hands seem fat, thick, and alien. Not like the child's hands that are in my head - those are thin, ineffectual. The hands I see are capable and proud. These are not my hands! They're at the end of my arms, sure, but I'm not sure how they got there. Where the hell did they come from ( Read more... )

I really wanted to send a reply to Rep. Knaparek at first - something along the lines of ( Read more... )

Laura Knaperek wrote me back in regards to my email concerning Arizona's spousal rape bill refusal last Thursday.

"Michael ( Read more... )

Ever since I mentioned "Dueling Banjos" (The little banjo riff the inbred mutant kid plays in Deliverance that is forever associated with BOY YOU SURE HAVE A PURTY MOUTH Ned Beatty rape scene) in a previous post, I keep hearing that song everywhere I go - I hear people whistling it, ring tones, people humming it in goddamn bars.It's seriously ( Read more... )

The more I thought about this issue, the more I realized I needed clarification. So, being the proactive American citizen that I am, I wrote my congresswoman for Tempe, Arizona - Laura Knaperek.

I'd also like to note that I wrote this letter whilst blind stinking drunk. Rock.

"Dear Congresswoman (hey you politico people - is this salutation ( Read more... )

This article bugs me.

Let's get it out of the way that I am absolutely in favor of stiffer penalties for spousal rape, k? I'm going to get a little conservative here for a quick minute, and I don't want to bend anyone's nose out of shape and somehow have less sex than I'm already having..

Which is fucking none, goddamnit.

Anyway.

A House panel ( Read more... )

LONDON (Reuters) - Robbie Williams has topped the UK funeral music chart, leaving Mozart trailing in his wake, according to a survey Thursday.

Williams' "Angels" was the record most Britons would like played at their funeral..

Proving once again that Britons have absolutely no fucking taste.

with Mozart's "Requiem" coming in at five in digital ( Read more... )

Do not, I repeat - do not fuck with the chimpanzees.

I believe that we were all born perfect and have been that way ever since ( Read more... )

Is orange 'orange' because of oranges, or did they name oranges 'oranges' because of orange?