I was out for a smoke, eh, and suddenly I saw someone apparate in the wrong place. Death by fence is pretty fucking bloody. Makes me not want to apparate for the next hour or something, but I doubt I'd be able to live without apparition anymore, eh. Here in this book, I, Sturgis V. Podmore, declare that if I were to die so stupidly, I would ( Read more... )

Well! Happy Valentines and that sort of shite, eh. It is a dreaded day for me, for Ninety is not at his best anymore. The whites lost to Liverpool yesterday on their first match. Not only was it dreadfully long and the ref was CLEARLY rooting for the Liverpool cockmunchers, you could SEE Fairclough SMOTHERING Harvey, eh, but he'd just blow his ( Read more... )

Gideon kicked me today for never using this properly (or as he put it, "live the pain of 'wow' comments"), so I took the quill and well, here I am. 'Least it's something, eh?

I'm Sturgis Podmore, nineteen. I work at the Ministry being the slave of others but apparently I'm getting well paid. I'm pretty sure Fabian inflicted this on me because he ( Read more... )