Really wish I didn't have to go to work today. 11 hours too. I feel awful. My mind isn't working. I feel like I'm not here. I find myself staring into space. I say things I shouldn't. Not because they're not true, but because they are unkind. All the time I feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. That something I've said or done is going ( Read more... )

I take a surprising amount of load for years, get a bit marked and scuffed by the loads I've carried, and then suddenly a seemingly gentle touch and *boof* I go to pieces. Faults you had no idea were there running through me. My pieces spread far and wide. You'll be forever finding me hiding around you and deep under your skin.

I find that if you constantly tell people they are failing, they cease to care about your measuring standards and find their own scale to work with. But tell them they are doing well and they will try to do better ( Read more... )

went to Copenhagen! For my birthday, with Doug, for four days. It was Excellent! I would love to go back soon! I didn't sleep well the night before and was up from 3.30am repacking my bag (more space to bring yarn back) and finishing the book I was Reading so I could pack something new. We were on the 8.25am flight, got in to Copenhagen about ( Read more... )

I Love Whitby. I've been coming here more on than off since '96 or '97. I've never felt unsafe here. Right now it is about 1am, the fog is down and I have the place to myself. I can hear the foghorn and the gulls. There are no people around. I have time and space and quiet. I have drunk a lot and it's ok. Tomorrow I will nose around the stalls and ( Read more... )

Would anyone like to volunteer to organise these?

Well, I've come to the opinion that it is bad for me anyway. When I am low (which I am right now) I cannot effectively select which messages are for me and which do not apply. subjects like obesity, privilige, inclusivity and "how to treat group X,Y,Z", all seem to be telling me that I'm not doing enough, I'm not getting anything right. Having ( Read more... )

This has been coming for a while. After 2014, I will be taking a break from BiCon. I want it on record here that it is not the organisation burn out that is likely to happen, more a tiredness with the entire thing. I should have given this year a miss, but when it's a five minute walk from my work I didn't think I could. It's not the best way to be ( Read more... )

Someone else has posted to fb about judging people. Whether we label people in our heads as bad or stupid or shallow or boring. I think that a) shallow/boring isn't true, it's just their interests do not interest me/the person to who they are shallow/boring, and b) it is in general choices not people who are bad or stupid ( Read more... )

I have Kittens! A girl called Friday (when I first picked her up she crawled up to my shoulder and started licking my neck. we agreed she was some kind of vampire. not wanting a cheesey vampire name, I've named her after my first vampire larp character. And I like the Cure song "Friday I'm in Love.") And a boy called Spider (he was climbing up the ( Read more... )