I feel the desperate need to cut through all the bullshit, cut it all, until the stench wakes us all the hell up in the grotesqueness of it. I wish I could say what is really on my mind all of the time but I wouldn't be able to function in 'normal' society. I want to crush the formalities. To the point where it's driving me mad. Everyone is so ( Read more... )

I've been taken by a very heavy feeling of hopelessness as far as my faith in love is concerned. This feeling of doom tends to occur when I find myself in certain social situations and I take better notice of what's out there. I have no desire to begin a new relationship, or have another lover at this time, but I am gripped with this sudden fear of ( Read more... )

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Whenever I hear the name Jorge I am forever going to think of China and flat feet. Odd associations I know, and I'm so vague it's impossible to know what I mean.

I find it rather awkward yet interesting when people start creeping out of the woodwork from my past and contact me through 'myspace'. I've always heard of it happening to others and never really expected it to happen to me as well, naive, or perhaps just the flicker of my sometimes low self-esteem which has me believe that no one would care to ( Read more... )

Tarantulas shed their skin many times before reaching adulthood. They push blood out of their stomach and into the cephalothorax until the exoskeleton breaks open. It almost appears as if one spider is giving birth to another & releasing the body trapped inside. Any limbs are replaced that may have gone missing through time or by war with another ( Read more... )

Lately I feel guilty about killing anything. It's summer so everything crawls on walls and ceilings so that I think they might drop on my head. There are no cockroaches, just ants, spiders, flies, moths, and creepy crawling millipede insects that run so fast as if they've gone insane. I've always let the spiders live for they helped to aid me in my ( Read more... )

It really breaks my heart to hear a message from my grandmother telling me she's glad I'm 'having a nice time' still thinking I am away and with him. I haven't called her at all since I've returned in fear of what to say to her. I'm trying to protect her from the image she maintains in her mind, because it keeps her sane and good to believe that I ( Read more... )

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