::sits down to scribble several copies of a note on Sauron's "
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OK THEN.

You spend a few months away from the computer building a hospital and what happens? Your husband starts inventing affairs between you and one of your candy stripers so he can chase after another married man. This wouldn't be a problem, except for the fact that he's so busy playing with my makeup kit that I am not getting laid. Sauron ( Read more... )

[Note: This is an old post that never went through, and I somehow got it into my head that I had put it up later. I just checked this after seeing Sauron's reappearance, and... oops. Uh. This isn't actually a reaction to his last post. Seriously. I have another puppet dealing with childbirth, I would not bother to write this that quickly. It ( Read more... )

Part A: The most important questions. Spell everything correctly.
What Is Your Name?: Goldberry of Mordor
What Is Your Quest?: To medicate Middle-earth.
What Is Your Favorite Color?: Green and blue.

Part B: Useless Things I'd Like To Hear Your Useless Opinions On.
I miss Varda's voluptuous breasts, how about you?: I miss Varda in general.
Should ( Read more... )

My birthday was three days ago. My son gave me chocolates, introduced me to his girlfriend, Gladys (whose name used to be Jeff), and told me that he might be gay because his father failed to give him enough love as a child. I reminded him that he was only a child for a few weeks, and that his father is in fact an iconic figure of evil! florists. ( Read more... )

Here's a Polaroid I took of Rufus Manwë yesterday. He looks a lot like someone I've met before, but I haven't quite figured out who yet.


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Well, I had a baby last week. This answers everyone's questions about the reproductive capacity of water-things when matched with evil previously-disembodied Maiar, I guess. I didn't even know I was pregnant right up until I was ready to deliver.

Sauron was feeling down that day. He'd just watched Bambie for the first time, and was still upset ( Read more... )

::throws the bouquet::

::watches it hover in mid-air for several seconds, surveying its victims::

::watches it plummet to earth, headed straight for......::

The masses have spoken, and the masses are a bunch of dirty-minded bastards. This explains the ice sculpture on the buffet. Therefore, since it took a lot less time than I thought it would to get, er, dressed, we're just waiting for Sauron to finish adjusting his flowers ( Read more... )

There seems to be no end in sight to the debate between my future husband, my mother and I over what I should wear to the wedding, so I'm leaving it up to public opinion. This will only be effective for a short while, as the wedding is starting... um, soon. Anyway... The first outfit is my mother's choice. She designed it herself. Be kind. ( Read more... )