I'm feeling exotic....

So quite a few people have asked me have asked me how I'm enjoying my summer job at Barnes & Noble (a gigantic bookstore chain, in case you were wondering). I could answer that question normally, but that would be boring, and pretty unlikely for me to do anyhow. As a result, I've decided to answer only in haikus ( Read more... )

You want to know what it takes to be "cool," don't you? Of course, we all do. You may be tearing your hair out over your own uncoolness now, but I am happy to report that I have found the one ingredient necessary for a person to be cool. Just one ( Read more... )

Energy drinks...benevolent jump-starters, or savage killers? The answer is that they are savage killers, but if you think shaving a few decades off my life is going to stop me from downing energy drinks like jellybeans, you are sorely mistaken. You see, caffeine and I have a symbiotic, codependent relationship. I depend on caffeine to keep me awake ( Read more... )

OKAY! It's the moment I'm totally sure you've all been waiting for, which is my arbitrary top 100 albums list. It doesn't come yearly; it comes when I say to myself, "Shit, I have a buttload of albums and I really feel like ranking them." I like ranking. It gives me the warm fuzzies. I made an old list (top 50 albums) a couple of years ago, and the ( Read more... )

( My statistics tests tend to lean toward the riduclous... )

Today Laura asked me, "If you woke up one day and you found that you had really big boobs, what would you do?" I couldn't really think of a great answer then, but I've come up with a short list of options ( Read more... )

Profile for "Rich College Dropout" on Myspace ( Read more... )

I had a couple weirdo dreams last night. Here's the first:

Some Anonymous Blonde-Haired Authority Figure Lady: Mike, you cheated on your SATs.
Mike: I did? ....... Oh yeah. I did.
SABHAFL: You're going to have to go to jail for 114 days.
M: Oh, really?
SABHAFL: Yep. You're going to be staying with Danny.
M: Okay.

(time passes, during which I do ( Read more... )

Know Your Barbie

I'm-Better-Than-You Barbie


( Read more... )

So I'm on break. It's kind of cool. Kind of boring. Meh ( Read more... )