Hell yeah you’re reading this article. I figured it was high time to stop bullshitting the readers of this livejournal and just give them what they want - nay, what they DESERVE. You guys don’t give a shit about “class” or “laundry” or “sports” or “parents.” College is about one thing: Getting high, getting drunk, and banging slutty-ass sluts. I ( Read more... )

Matt doesn't really like hockey. He likes soccer (known as futbol to the rest of the world, and those damned French) and rugby, and crew. He doesn't want to paint his face for the hockey game. What Matt doesn't understand though, is the beauty of the sport ( Read more... )

1. Always assume you are the only one who really understands the class materials. Treat the opinions of others dismissively. Act annoyed when asked to participate in group projects. Seize control of any such project but do not contribute much beyond a domineering attitude. Why should you take up the slack for everyone else ( Read more... )

Step 1: DEVELOP A CATCH PHRASE ( Read more... )

Dear Matt ( Read more... )

Facebook, for the uninitiated, is a networking site like MySpace that connects students on college campuses. Every member has their own profile, which they fill with basic interests and information about themselves. Members look at the profiles of others and send them messages, invite them into groups, and list them as friends, among other things. ( Read more... )

Matt awoke like any other day at 4:50am, before the shining sun began to warm the cold Earth, and blinked in the dark of his room. Chris, his roommate lay fast asleep in bed, enjoying the warmth for many more hours to come. Minutes later, dressed and ready for practice, Matt left the room headed for practice when suddenly Matt stopped, "Shit" he ( Read more... )

Matt had long pondered what people feared/loathed/detested about anal sex. To him it was just another hole. As disturbing as it sounded it couldn't be that bad, rationalized Matt, both gays and hardcore straight couples do it. In his quest for knowledge Matt completely and conviently forgot that one drunken night in Albany months ago, him and a ( Read more... )

Matt was sitting outside a bar in downtown Albany when suddenly two men in their late 60's approached him. "Wanna have crazy wild sex?" asked old man #1. Matt pondered it for a full .0000395 seconds before leaping to his feet. "Hell yeah man. You old dudes are freaky!" The two old men took Matt to his apartment and preceded to have a crazy wild ( Read more... )

An explosion woke Matt from his sleep at 8am. Wow, it is late (compared to the ungodly crew hours)he thought, rising from bed to investigate the peculiar explosions coming from the kitchen. Creeping down the stairs, partly from curiousity and partly from fear Matt began to feel uneasy as another loud explosion went off not ten feet away. Leaping ( Read more... )