I ought to know. I walked into all the clothing stores on the top floor of the mall today. "Can I help you?" is an invasion of privacy. I despise it.

Thanks to the lovely Starskin, I now have icons. *bliss*

Bordergold (bless her) has reminded me to love life in the midst of, despite, and because of its mystery and paradox. (See her entry of 11/15/03.) And how? WITH WRITING. WITH WORDS. I've been stuck in mundane fears about graduating, finding work but not happiness, etc... But now I have the wherewithal to dig myself out. The light at the end ( Read more... )

All that said, if you're feeling the urge to tell me (as dear Sonatina3 would) that maybe I shouldn't write, please let the opportunity slip. I'm ahead of you. If I can't write happily, I won't write. And I'm okay with that prospect, the task of redefining my vision and sense of self. But that doesn't mean that I'll give up so easily.

I have lost my courage for this writing project (NaNoWriMo). And, at the same time, I have gotten a little of my musical courage back: I played and sang better, today, than I have in a long time (maybe ever), even though I've not been practicing. Mostly because I'm relaxing certain tensions. (Do I tense something mental when I write ( Read more... )

Robin McKinley's "Sunshine." One of my favorite authors of all time writes a vampire story (the only vampire story I've ever read besides a third of Dracula). Go read it. It's incandescent. *scurries back into her hole*

And it scares the heck out of me. But I've decided that I don't have to worry. I've already got one dream to work towards (writing); why should anyone get two? I'll just have to do menial jobs to support myself. Or break my heart on the rough ground of grad school. End of story. Whatever happens, it's not worth fretting over now.

Saturday was a huge success. I wrote pretty much all day. I've not matched that level of productivity yet this week, but I'm still hopeful. *kisses to NaNoWriMoers ( Read more... )

Tomorrow, and only tomorrow (unless it is so successful I repeat it), I will cut myself off from the Internet lifeblood and return to the rustic elements of pencil and spiral notebook. It's necessary, believe me. It's the only way I have ever written. Certainly, the only way I have ever written close to this bulk of a story. So if anyone gets ( Read more... )

My roomies and lijorli, dressed as Charlie's Angels (they look INCREDIBLE), are taking Amelia out trick-or-treating. I am going to attend the Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul, Quills Poetry Club's annual Halloween celebration. Tea and candles and spooky poetry in the dark. *bliss* And it gave me a chance to finish my last roll of film, so I can ( Read more... )

This according to my voice teacher, who I had a long talk with yesterday. He sees me as a person apart (apart from the people around me), despite my protests that I have many friends. I don't know where he's coming from. But he did say he thought I should become a writer. I'm not sure if that's because I've mentioned in passing my burning ( Read more... )