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I saw Mark tonight. I had to move on with my life one way or the other. I did what everyone knew I was going to do in the end. For better or for worse. I have disallowed comments for a reason. I can't ask that you like my decision. I only ask that you respect that it was my decision to make - not yours. Tomorrow is another day.

Behind the cut is a conversation between alwaschoen and angelkeys. I know Chris, that you didn't give Jaimee permission to share this with me - nor did I get permission to post it. Jaimee meant well - she always does. I actually don't think I need to explain much to you. You seem to understand. That is something I need. Thank you. You were quite dead on in ( Read more... )

This constant state of anxiety needs to stop.

I was reading (I swear) for class...Marcel Proust as a matter of fact...

"...and in the evening, after dinner, if she wished to stay at home in deshabille, if he had been forced to stay beside her, to do what she asked..."

...and the word deshabille gave me the oddest sense of deja vu. I fancied that in a dream once I had read that exact word ( Read more... )

Sunday officially starts the week but why does it always feel like the end instead? Shrug.

I woke up this morning afternoon to gorgeous weather. I had scheduled a meal visit but I was still in bed when I got the call from (pledge) Lauren. In reality I could not really have had a decent meal visit with her because I am still extremely poor but I ( Read more... )

I am not drunk. At least not like last night. I did find somewhere to go. I found three somewhere's. I went out with Julie again. Going to parties where you don't know anyone really isn't that much fun. At least not for anti-social broody Ryan ( Read more... )

I am all dressed up with no where to go. Boo.

He looked at me, lip quivering, tears running. I told him once that I thought people were their most beautiful when they cried - brimming and uncontained. Maybe he hoped with hope that I would think so now. I wasn't moved. It didn't occur to me until later to even pay notice. I gripped his face to get a good look. I don't know what I had ( Read more... )

My internet is dumb. He didn;t want me to update my journal in this state. So he closed all the time. I came in third place in literati. I will school them all some day . some day ( Read more... )