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we are young supernovas
Oh look it's a crossroads!
And I WILL write the fucking email and I WILL hit SEND.
It's about time, lady. -
The same, but different
It's like falling back down the stairs I spent so long climbing, except they're different stairs as I start back up. What's at the top? -
today is a good day
So I get angry at myself when I fail to be the thing people want me to be and then angry at them for wanting me to be anything at all, for having expectations of me. And that's when I just stop interacting entirely. I pull back, say fuck it, and want nothing to do with that person. With people at all. But I suspect I'm the one to blame, that I ( Read more... ) -
there's always a girl in distress
"There isn't a way things should be. There's just what happens, and what we do."
- Terry Pratchett, Hat Full of Sky
So I thought maybe I could just skip along the surface and not fall in and maybe I'd become one of those people full of denial, cold heart wrapped in indifference. Except (you already knew this) it doesn't work like that. And those ( Read more... ) -
the law of force of line upon line
The neighbor who molested me when I was a kid is no longer living at the house at the bottom of the hill. He's in a nursing home, has had his leg amputated, and his kids all hate him. He's an old man. He's an old man and going to die ( Read more... ) -
Everything old is new again
Note to self: Stop burning bridges.
Also, don't answer e-mail when you're pissed off.
Thanks. -
Youse goin dahntahn?
The Pittsburgh accent makes me angry. It's a trigger I hadn't identified before this morning when I heard it on the radio. It's not a trigger that sends me into a panic attack or anything dramatic like that, it just puts me in a fowl mood. I get that smash something kind of feeling...my own terrible little streak of violence begging to be let loose -
more B. A. van der Kolk
"Ordinarily memories of particular events are remembered as stores that change over time and that do not evoke intense emotions and sensations. In contrast, in PTSD the past is relived with an immediate sensory and emotional intensity that makes victims feel as if the event were occurring all over again. The "Grant Study," a longitudinal study of ( Read more... ) -
psychophysiology of trauma
From an article describing some of the work of Bessel Van der Kolk, MD
"In his presentation, he shared some of his research in which brain scans were performed on patients who suffered trauma. They found that it is the limbic part of the brain that is most affected by trauma. During a traumatic experience, the right posterior part of the brain, ( Read more... ) -
A poll. Because I can.
Poll Because I need a good kick in the ass.