At least one of you American types soliders dying every day in the "liberated" Iraq...

Saddam and Osama having drinks with little paper umbrellas in them, laughing at the television set at the world around them.

Highest deficit in the history of civilization

Highest unemployment since.. well.. since before I even came to America eight nine years ( Read more... )

Yeesh! I'm not dead... just that my zipper got stuck in the men's room for the last 2 months.. hey, it worked for that big black guy in "Summer School ( Read more... )

Heya Minions... sorry I haven't been around much, but Satan has been playing a LOT of Star Wars Galaxies lately. Anyhow, I figured you guys wouldn't mind if I took off for a couple weeks. Hell, God took off over 2000 years ago and people are STILL patiently waiting on him.

Dearest Satan ( Read more... )

I won! I won! I really, really won! I beat Him!

Take THAT, Bible! Whoooooo's the master?

*Walks off proudly*

So I didn't add everyone to the friends list yesterday, or add ppl to the dom squad.. or even make a real post like I promised to.

What did you expect, though? I AM the Prince of Lies, after all...

Suckers..

I'm working on it right now, though. I promise!

I know I know, quit your whining.

"Satan, we haven't heard from you in AGES!"

"Satan, have you abandoned us?"

"Satan, I tried emailing you and you never got back to me!"

"Satan, I just took the home pregnancy test that was on sale at Walgreens.. it came back blue!"Satan, you're around every so often, but I really just am not into the prospect ( Read more... )

New Metallica Album: Ummm.. well, what to say. I guess that's what happens when the band turns from Satan, the lead singer gives up booze, and the bassist leaves. Code Blue! Somebody get James Heffield a drink and a pentagram, stat ( Read more... )

No, No No! You were supposed to shoot my loan sharks in LAS VEGAS, not my established KKK /Hate contingent in Alabama!. Lovely.. now I gotta keep an extra eye out for Tony Two Toes and Jimmy the Greek while I'm at the craps table today. Urgh.

Sweet Satan, with help like this, it's no wonder God thinks He's going to win the Final Battle.

I pop back into America, and who starts sending me messages?

( Why, it's everyone's most hated deity, of course )

I've been in San Francisco for almost two hours now, and not one gay boi has hit on me...did God start letting some of you guys become Catholics or something? I used to be so popular amongst the alternative crowd ( Read more... )