Short and sweet today folks...Satan needs to recover from a trip to the oral surgeon(and I don't mean the prostitutional kind) yesterday.

Great things to use any time one of God's creation, the collection agent, calls your house demanding money (There are free tracks to listen to if you scroll to the bottom, though the CD is worth getting ( Read more... )

Well, Satan had a story planned for today, but it's been put on hold, as Satan needs to take some serious time to come up with all the things I'm going to do to that worthless fucker Grady Little when I finally get My hands on him....this could take a while...little bastard is going to be getting the extra, EXTRA special treatment down here ( Read more... )

So, Satan went to the Kiss/Aerosmith/Saliva concert last night ( Read more... )

So, I've come up with a new, super secret way to invade and take over Heaven recently(hence my not being around much). Naturally, God wants to find out what it is so that he can either plan countermeasures for it, or else start giving blowjobs to little boys in exchange for their help...doh, wait a minute...with God's crew, it's the little boys ( Read more... )

Soooooooooo Hell Part Deux(more commonly known as Detroit Michigan) is getting their very own Hard Rock Cafe. That's very good. Maybe it'll attract more victi...erm, more out-of-towners to the Drive-By Ci...erm, the Motor City ( Read more... )

Dear God ( Read more... )

Haven't done this one in a while--mainly cause you bastards stopped writing in. I'm an unloved deity, I am. Actually wasn't gonna touch this one, but it's been a topic of conversation recently, so you guys can suffer through :P.

Dear Satan ( Read more... )

So many of you women up in the northeast kept slapping me when I copped a feel, you turned around, and realized it was the Dark One doing the grabbing....

What did you expect me to do, give up?What's that saying? See no evil, feel no evil hands groping yoru nipples? Well ok maybe that's not what the saying said, but in spirit ( Read more... )

Journal Entry for day #23,091,881,998,691

Well, I'm finally back at The Pad....sort of. Got bored, so I went ahead and took up God on His idea to go on Trading Spaces for their special deity edition episode. I know full well the fucker cheated! He pulled Vern ...His pearly ass gated castle looks absolutely fantastic(did His entryway)...love ( Read more... )

First, I found a way to cause mass resignations...(apologies to all the little boys out there, but alas, war causes collateral damage, isn't that what your leader professes ( Read more... )