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Don't close your eyes... Don't turn away!
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Day 48
He is never coming back.
He has already moved on, point of no return.
I can see that. He added so many girls.
I'm stupid, why the hell do I keep checking?
What if I see him openly having a new woman some day?
Isn't avoiding that the whole reason of never talking again?
I should unfriend him, but can I take that?
I secretly, deep inside, keep hoping ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
The only thing left that I really want is the courage to kill myself, but I'm even too pathetic to fulfill my own biggest wish
Im so tired
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Day 37
I believe the reason for him suddenly changing his mind about coming to live with me is because he met someone else.
I'm almost sure of it
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(Untitled)
This urge to call him is so so overwhelming.
I really wish to hear his voice.
I want to tell him "I miss you".
I want to hear "I miss you too, I don't want to be without you".
I know he won't say that though.
And what if a woman answers?
Last thing I want is to boost his ego by telling him how much I need him, while he is probably already fucking ( Read more... ) -
Day 36
Lately I watched more movies on his netflix, I did ask for permission, but it almost seems wrong.
Plus I have a bad habit of rating movies I liked, that he now mostly marked as "not interested".
I feel bad for doing so, and also bad about him doing so, even though it's his right.
So much time has passed since his mail.
I don't think he is ever ( Read more... ) -
Day 33
Oh how I wish he was miserable without me
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Day 32
Finally consciously watching Pulp Fiction.
I only remember being dead tired and dozing off while my friend laughed and I joined in to feign awakeness, just to pass out again. I should've responded.
There's this one moment when I would've buried my face into Jon's chest. When Vincent goes to pick up Mia for their "date" there's a creepy looking ( Read more... ) -
Day 29
Father's Day. I almost wrote Mr. B. but that would've been wrong.
I watched a movie on his netflix yesterday called noobz. It was about gamers.
It was partly goofy and cheesy. But I actually really liked it.
I think he would have too. I'd tell him to watch it.
I keep thinking about him.
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(Untitled)
I really wish he'd want me the way I want him
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