i have decided to move back home. i am not sure how i feel about this either. i have seen so much and experienced the most randomn facts of life that i am not sure i will like being back home where i am treated like a 12yr old. i know that i have to because of finances and for my sanity, yet the thought is depressing. i have two more days in ( Read more... )

complacency and restlessness seem to merge. i walk in and out of the squares, complacency black, restlessness red. red, black, red, black with every step i take. each step bring new revelation, new desire, new frustration. i wonder if i will ever see orange again. orange, when the air was pure, orange, when i knew what i wanted, orange that ( Read more... )

i just realized that today has been a year since i have had my livejournal. seems that i am a major basket case. one moment i am delirously happy, the next i am on the verge of combustion!! ahh, well such is the life. i like ot think that the next year of my journal will be more positive, more creative, more stable and more mature. i also realized ( Read more... )

i am sorry i lied ( Read more... )

Quietly while you were asleep ( Read more... )

well boys, i've been sittin hare in dis gaud fersakin mo-bile home wit no whiskey an a bunch of ole chilrens runnin arund hare, bout makin me wanna shoot my damned raight toesey off. suppose i'd tell ya's storey ( Read more... )

i feel as if my life is a vapor, as if i am a boiling tea pot, screaming to be had. i am so full of something that i cant wait to give to someone else, but no one wants to be wanted these days. perhaps i am a dreamer, but i really do feel that love will conquer all. i feel that loving someone, and having that love reciprocated will be my savior, ( Read more... )

this day has been incredibly brilliant. the air was full of pollen, and i couldn't smell the beautiful flowers, but the sun was amazing. i wake to a warm room and meghan cuddling with me in her sleep. since i have moved in with her and her mother and brother, things have gotten pretty clear to me. i love life, there is not reason to stress about it ( Read more... )

it's been the worst two days of my life. this two day migrane crap is for the birds! the source of my migrane and stress is simple, shitty, smelly, and simple. i went to the movies the other night to see hidalgo, which sucked, however i was trying to support anything that bears the name of my family. anyway, i has just cashed my check that was made ( Read more... )

"wait!" i scream as i awake, bewildered, afraid, and semi-conscious. the q'doba red light is enough to keep me from sheer terror. I awoke to the frightening thought that i had missed my stop and would have to walk five blocks to my stop, in the dark, near the ghetto. i jumped up to realize that the bus was actually not moving at all, and curious ( Read more... )