I decided to post a fake profile on okcupid, just to see what would happen. I've been bombarded with instant messages from total douchebags.

Here's my fucking amazing profile

And here are some of the jerks who message me:

Jerk 1

Some guy advises: "wow, you sound pretty intimidating. smart, goodlooking, hard worker, high sttandards. shit, i ( Read more... )

The Lish scrapbook is happening almost effortlessly.


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If it could be guaranteed that I would have a kid as awesome as Cloe, I'd start cranking 'em out.

Happy Mothers' Day to awesome moms, moms not living, and awesome people with shitty moms.


( Read more... )

Every time I get a perfect score on a psych test, I get a Girl Boner ( Read more... )

Although Betty White is the hottest Golden Girl, Bea Arthur was definitely the most funny. I could settle down with a lady like Bea. She's probably in heaven parting with my grandma and Estelle Getty.


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I'm so excited about the Eleventh Doctor Who!

Tom Baker was my overall favorite Doctor. David Tennant is pretty hot, but he's no Tom fucking Baker, that's for sure. My favorite "new" Doctor is Christopher Eccleston since he's actually funny AND super-weird.

But getting back to what I was originally musing about. Ah, this guy.


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This is the last month you could ever impregnate me. But don't let that stop you from tryin'. Aw yeah.

You know the drill. Here are your male inmates of 2009. Match the creep to the offense.

( Oh dear god )

( For the three worthwhile people on my friends list )

Because I love all of you so much, I have scoured the internet for some jail booking photos. Everyone loves to look at creepy people. Since I have a lot of time on my hands with working the night shift and all, I present the following game: Match the Scrot(um) to the Offense ( Read more... )