Ha ha ha.

Such a fuckin' headache. All of it.

I better not get shit if that whole cellar's cleared out. I never touch that shit. I didn't do and goddamn thing.

What? We gonna' have a pillow fight after this? Most everything else has lasted a couple days this month, so is it Slumber Party Week? Oh boy! That's the kind of shit I've been waiting for ( Read more... )

Well, that's just great.

Hey, you. Charming. You're down one karate kid in the wine cellar. That eliminates one of my previous duties, puts me by my lonesome down here. I got no idea how you wanna' run things or even what the fuck you're doing, so maybe we oughta' figure it out before I gotta' give up on this and move on to some Underground ( Read more... )

Now I've been an out-and-out liar, and that's the truth. I can save it for when I need it, though, and y'all handed over some fair warning. Just another thing long-neck bottles are good for, huh, long noses?

Oh, oh, ooh. But I might've picked up on something interesting, the past couple of days. Let's see how long it takes you this time, huh?

Aw, damn. That's nasty.

I know what I done. I acknowledge that shit easy enough. Hell, it was my job. I profited off of killing people. Now, though? Damn if I ain't just got a new boss before a curse's gonna' stop me from going to work.

All I'm saying is that there's gotta' be a better way to illustrate that, ethically speaking, I done fucked up.

Tell you what. Thinking about it? That whole puddle of whining thing was probably the easiest to avoid curse ever. Just don't step in a freakin' puddle, and that's it. Easy as pie.

And yet some of you out there couldn't manage that much. Good job. Y'all make me feel a bit better about my chances of survival, and I'm dead as a fuckin' doornail.

You know, this had the potential to be real fuckin' annoying.

Now, I think we can make a pretty good bet on it. So... If I were to say something along the lines of, "Hey, motherfuckers! How about a betting pool that goes to the dope with the highest tiny-body count at 11:30pm. Let's say it starts at 8:30pm." What would anybody say to that ( Read more... )

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Creative Ways to Kill A Motherfucker
- Tie him down and amputate limbs
- Keep him on a dog chain in the middle of the desert
- Drop him out of a helicopter
- Shoot up a wedding
- Feed him to something
- Bury him alive
- Forceful overdose

Preferred Qualities in a Woman- Not a retarded cunt ( Read more... )

This's-- [gigglesnort] I didn't-- Heheh. Didn't do it, this time. [laughter] Wasn't me, Nicky!

[A longer, harsher bout of laughter. Banging around can be heard.]

This's-- I need'a-- FUUUCK!