the dish is that parts of him are seeping into me but i remain completely blocked off to him. it's not that i compare him to past connections, but i feel like he would intrude on the ground that bobby and i had in my heart. i'm not grasping the fact that there is new territory and that there is no way that tom can take bobby away from me ( Read more... )

thinking too much ( Read more... )

while walking down the street, or waiting for a bus, or perusing at the mall, if another individual is walking around alone, gesticulating and talking very loudly as if someone is with them, we generally, as a society, fix our attention on them and increase the distance between us and that person for the sheer sake of safety and disassociation. ( Read more... )

why do i write? it only provedes me with poetic hindsight ( Read more... )

"should i get serious about you ( Read more... )

it is my need to showcase the concept that i am able to fall in love and accept another person in my life; that it is plausible to live happily ever after -- this need that drives me to forge connections to men. my fix is the validation. that a man took the time to call ( Read more... )

to write ( Read more... )

delusion is a strong word: perhaps disillusion fits better. because he still loved me i somehow felt that we were together in a way. cosmically i felt that we were standing together and that at some point we would grab eachother's hands and just move forward in time and space ( Read more... )

the image of the bobby that i would be going back to ( Read more... )

i wasnt going to write tonight but here i am happened to be sitting in front of my computer and feeling sad, a stream of sentences running through my mind. ive been wanting to write a do not send letter to him telling him about how i miss him and how much i still like him and think about him. i often wonder what he's doing and whether or not he is ( Read more... )