actually, i am going to make it.

so be it.

remember when i asked you to tell me a story?

years later i confessed that what i actually meant was kiss me, but you did the next best thing: you told me the story of how we came together, how we progressed from that lurid orange hallway to be lying face to face in your empty house, barely holding hands.

later you would say to me, i liked telling ( Read more... )

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Light Is More Important Than The Lantern
Nizar Qabbani

Light is more important than the lantern,
The poem more important than the notebook,
And the kiss more important than the lips.
My letters to you
Are greater and more important than both of us.
They are the only documents
Where people will discover
Your beauty
And my madness

can i just skip this whole trip to ct and go right to san fran?

every time someone from ct says oh, when are you coming home? it takes PHYSICAL EFFORT not to scream at them ( Read more... )

sometimes my friends do shit that frustrates the everloving piss out of me
and then i realize,
until a year ago, i did that exact thing ALL THE TIME.or, whatever the timeframe may be, but it generally takes a year after stopping a behavior pattern to go from "aw, i get it, i used to be That Girl" to "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRR WHAT THE ( Read more... )

today james and i walked ten miles in the sun and i am deliciously, delightfully exhausted. tomorrow i register for my program at evergreen and saturday is my last day at awfuljob and i've written those words so many times in so many places--journals and emails--but i have yet to get tired of them.

i almost crashed my car on the freeway offramp today, and all i could think as my heart thrummed in my chest, was i need to call you, i need to hear your voice, i need you to know that i love you.what is it with me and offramps on drizzly days, with foregone conclusions and songs on repeat? it wouldn't have even been a fatal accident, but ( Read more... )

i had a dream you were dying, and today i drove my friend--
the one who reminds me so strongly of you, not in looks but in personality--
to the airport, listening to one of your mixes on the way home.

i'm not sure why i search for anything else, because nostalgia clearly fucks me up more thoroughly than any drug ever could.