why do I always get the short end of the stick? I mean anytime I have the chance to be happy, I mean it backfires right in my face. I have wanted to be in a relationship for so long and everytime I think there is a chance there is always something to keep me from getting what I truely desire, a meaningful long lasting relationship. I sometimes ( Read more... )

Its only been like what...3 or 4 months since I have written anything...And who wants to read my crap besides rebecca and a few other people who decide to read my journal. Ehh right now life pretty much sux....well...lets see....update since september...My mother is sick as many people know...Shes not doing well...has her good and her bad days. I ( Read more... )

Well my mother and I are fighting once again...this time about religion...she looked like she wanted to cry when I told her I dont fundamentally believe in the Jewish faith. I mean because she tried all she could to teach me those things, and it dissapoints her that I dont accept them...Its not a reflection on her but I just feel as though I am ( Read more... )

I hurt...jesus doesnt the rest of us. I can only sum it up like this...Evanescence if it werent for them showing me this song...it describes tonight so well....you see John called me out of the blue...My ex-John to clarify and I tried so hard to be strong...No I didnt cry. But I forgave, and that took so much courage. Forgiveness is the most ( Read more... )

yeah so its 216 and Im rather sleepy. Im sad too a bit. A because I havent written in a while...its like wow you still have a live journal...B my two best friends in the galaxy are leaving me to persue their own educational endeavours...C I am without a relationship and I want one, but on my terms which probably wont happen and D I still think ( Read more... )

i dont really remember alot about my childhood, maybe because I have done my best to block it from my mind...I dont really like remembering those times. They were filled with alot of painful memories. but today Alicia and my mom and I sat and I sat around and watched olf home films. Why I am not sure, but we did and all I can think was how ( Read more... )

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I am tired right now ( Read more... )

I am so tired...Its like everything I do, is never where I can really be. I cant do anything right, not even college. It blows man....I dont even know where Im going now, and time is really running out with everything. I havent seen Joey in like forever, and I miss mel. I read his live journal, he misses someone. its sad, hes like never happy ( Read more... )