The Mrmpfle Legacy: Chapter 1.7
Previously on The Hills:: Firey hijincks ensued! Gage danced around in his underwear! Squishy momentarily conquered his fear of the outdoors and played in the sprinkler, only to once again retreat to the safe haven that is his bedroom. Peanut was Peanut and Anna squeed over laundry. Ooft doesn't that sound dirty?
warnings: bad language, toddler explosions, general awesomeness of awesomeosity, ham spam
previous: 1.1 | 1.2 | 1.3 | 1.4 | 1.5 | 1.6
This boy is. A boy. What's his name? Fuck. I don't know! I can never remember any townie's name. Point is. He's a boy and he invited Squishy over after school. Apparently they are quite good friends.
Squishy: I need you to understand that this is very difficult for me. I am quite certain that at any moment this grass is going to leap from the very ground we are standing on and kill us both. But yes. I will play tag with you. That's just the kind of friend I am. Risking life and motherfucking limb for you. You better appreciate it.
Nameless Friend: WHHHHEEEEEEE!!!!
Squishy: wheeeeeeee /sarcasm
Back at the house I'm pretty sure Gage and Peanut were saying "whee!" as well. Or maybe not. I can't really say. I don't listen in okay guys? I'm ~*polite*~
Regardless of what they were saying it had jack all to do with feeding poor Porkchop.
Porkchop: Oh god! Maybe I can eat this thought bubble over my head I AM SO EFFING HUNGRY! D:<
Squishy: I'm pretty sure I hear my chances for heirship being halved and hurled into the abyss.
Peanut: BLHUAAARRRGGG!!
Yup. Peanie is preggers again.
Oh. I promise to never call her Peanie again 0_0
OMG! Gage is clearly playing favourites with this one. Potty training and teaching him to walk?
Gage: I'm just trying to be an active parent. Don't mock me.
Anna: Active parent. Yuh-huh. Which is why your relationship bar with Squish is EMPTY.
Gage: HEY! That's private space! You shouldn't go in there! D:
Porkchop: Can we do this after I get some sleep? Seriously. I'm gonna passout here.
Peanut: I hear ya kid.
KABLAMO! IT'S A CHILD!
Porkchop developed...a trait. I don't know what it was. Let me find my notes. *rummages* aha! Porkchop is now eccentric. Huh. Somehow this doesn't fit with what I know of Porkchop. Oh well. SO SAYS THE GAME!
Yes. Porkchop is the eccentric one.
Squishy: YAY! HE'S A BOY! BLUURRGH I HAVE A TONGUE! :D
Squishy: *giggles* Hee hee, he got a purple bed. *snort* That's a girls colour.
This from the boy in the pink shirt. He should know gender stereotyping is bad.
Porkchop after his makeover. He always has this kind of worried look on his face.
Porkchop: Have you met my family? You'd be worried too!
Anna: Hey! Your family rocks! What is it with legacy children being all "oooo. My family is sooooo weird. My family is soooo dysfunctional. Whine whine whine."
Porkchop: You done?
Anna: Yea. I'm done. *hangs head in shame*
Peanut: I wonder. Did I remember to clean the sheets from the last time Gage and I found some socks? Hmmm.
Squishy: What are you going on about Mum?
Peanut: Oh fuck!
Anna: Ah yes. I'm glad you saw that Squishy doesn-
Peanut: I so didn't! Eeewww!
Squishy: Well she's clearly useless, do you know the answer to the question?
Anna: Uhh..*shifty eyes*
After shooing Squish out of the room and a hurried and lazy sheet change Peanut brought Gage in to talk to him.
Peanut: Honey. We need to talk about some stuff.
Gage: Please don't say what I think you're going to say. Please tell me you have a craving for some ice cream. I will get you ice cream. I will do whatever you want!
Peanut: I'm pregnant.
Gage: Aha! Yaaayyyy...Shit. I'm so tired of this parenting thing!
Peanut popped into some ugly clothes and I hadn't really played with any ambitions stuff (ASIDE FROM MY NEW LOVE LAUNDRY! *swoons for laundry*) so I decided to send her to town to explore.
I sent her to the tattoo parlour but apparently pregnant sims can't get tattoos. THAT IS TOTAL BULLSHIT! *rage* So here's a picture of the empty chair that should have been filled with a crying, pregnant Peanut.
I'm such a caring sim!overlord.
Peanut: Well I came down here to get a tattoo but it looks like that was just a waste of time. And it was going to be so awesome too! With flames and shit. And a tramp stamp. Clearly.
Old Woman: Isn't that like, bad for your baby?
Peanut: Lady, if you knew the things this baby has been through, you'd know that one or two little tattoos are the least of it's worries.
Old Woman: Fuck, too bad there are no social workers...
Meanwhile, back at the house Squishy and his best friend were being. Best friends...No really. They do like each other.
Squishy: I'M SO GLAD YOU ALSO LIKE FRENCH TOAST! IT IS DELICIOUS! LET'S KEEP BEING FRIENDS! D:< *rage*
Yup. Porkchop is the eccentric one. Clearly that makes the most sense.
The next day it was a no pants party in the kitchen!
Gage: Oooohhhhmmmmm.
Gage: *breathes in the power of the no pants party*
Well the boys were partying it up sans pants, Peanut was busy tidying up. Whilst heavily pregnant.
Peanut: *grumble* *mutter* Gage..*mumble mumble*
Peanut: *mutter* Fucking boys *grumble* *kicks ground* Damn.
Squishy wisely avoided Peanut's bad temper that day.
Squishy: Mum's fine. I had to write a paper.
Anna: Ahem! *cough* I said 'Squishy wisely avoided Peanut's bad temper that day! *glares*
Shockingly, Squish decided it was as good a place as any to sit down and play with his toy tiger. I do not understand him and I give up on trying to!
Back at the house Gage was feeling guilty for letting his pregnant wife do all the housework, so he decided to make it up with a little one on one snuggling time.
And awkward making out. Seriously, does that not look uncomfortable?!
But sadly, time had to go and ruin Gage's plans for a romantic evening.
Peanut: What the hell is he doing?
Gage: YAY! IT'S MAH BIRFDAY!
Gage: Why hello there ladies. Am I not equally handsome if not more so now that I'm all distinguished like?
Peanut: I'm going to take a shower. *leaves*
Gage: Wha?! Oh *sad face*
Apparently Gage's sex appeal was so strong that it pushed Peanut into labour.
Peanut: Seriously..*pant*..your logic and...*huff*..reasoning is totally...*gasp*...out of whack!
Gage: My baby sense are tingling! TO THE HOSPITAL MY TRUSTED STEED! AHA!
And everybody welcome the last child of generation two, a baby girl! Her name is Freckles and she is friendly and clumsy, and she likes roots, hamburgers and lime. A girl after my own heart.
Peanut left Freckles at home with Gage because she had some serious thievering to do.
Peanut: I totally stole the shit out of that lamp!
Anna: *sigh*
Gage: I love this baby. I hope she stays a baby forever. Babies are so cute and wonderful and awesome. Never grow up little Freckles.
10 sim!minutes later
Peanut: Really Anna? Already?
Anna: YES! TODDLER NOW! D:< OMNOMNOM CHILDHOOD! *cough* Sorry. I apologize for my outburst.
Freckles: Yes! Feel the power of the sparklies! ~*FEEEEEEEEEL*~ IT!!!
And this is Freckles all made over.
Squishy: *muffled from the background* fml.
Yea, she's kinda too cute for words. Squish definitely has competition for my spot as favourite. What? Yea. I have favourites. What of it?!
So I'll end this update with a healthy dose of adorable toddler spam. Don't say I didn't warn you.
Thanks again for reading guys. And as always, thanks to everyone at SWG for being so awesomely awesome. You guys are totes my e-family, even if I'm not around as much as I should be. *blush* Mmmkay, gushy love moment over. OKAY! AWESOME! ANNA OUT! *vanishes*