( it's real, long overdue, and just plain long )

I hate becoming accustomed to a way of life only to have it change. They say that the only thing that doesn’t change is that things continue to change. Life changes are all too common when you hop bands so you’d think I get used to them, but I don’t. When Richard called it quits on the Verve, everything in my life changed rapidly. I wasn’t there as ( Read more... )

I don’t know whether it seems pathetic or sweet but I didn’t have my first real girlfriend till I was 15 or 16. She was a pretty redhead and shy like me, so I don’t even know how we managed to get together. Dave said something once about how two introverted people open up around each other and talk for hours, and that’s how we were. I wish I could ( Read more... )

Something you quickly learn when you’re a student of music is that silence is uncomfortable. Rests are rushed through, ignored because there’s something about a pause in the music that can make a group of musicians edgy. In a rest, there’s time for a wrong note to go off, someone to not cut off with everyone else; a whole world of damage can be ( Read more... )

I read an article awhile ago that said something along the lines of being able to change your happiness or unhappiness by giving a general change to your personality. Bringing it down to the black and white idea of introverts and extroverts, it goes on to say that acting more extroverted ultimately affects your mood presently and in the long run. ( Read more... )

It’s been over a month but I’m still finding it hard to shift back to the day to day process of doing nothing. That’s not true, I’m not doing just nothing, but the days are long and getting lazier. I still can’t keep regular sleeping hours and don’t sleep anywhere near the recommended amount, but I’m assuming those are just guidelines for people ( Read more... )

I never believed people when they’d say something like “you have to love yourself before anyone else can love you.” Someone can love you whether you hate yourself or not, there’s no law that dictates that. Maybe true that it’s not likely someone will keep loving you if you can’t love yourself, and that’s reaction. I’d go with the theory that no one ( Read more... )

Some people have good reasons for not wanting to go home, but I don’t. My childhood and life there has always been nice and happy, but for as long as I can remember, I wanted to get away. I never did until the Verve because my motivation was never fueled by the passion it takes to get out as soon as you can. My mum is short and has a kind smile; I ( Read more... )

It’s hard to believe that after about 10 months of living nearly in the same quarters, eating the same kind of food, and sharing the stage together, it’s about over. It’s different when I know I’m going to be back in a studio recording again in some months time, but it’s been said numerous times I’m not Graham’s replacement, because who, really, ( Read more... )

Being asked ‘why don’t you smile very much?’ by a stranger is like being asked flat out ‘why are you so miserable?’ I’ve been asked both, actually, and they’re about the same to me with the exception that the miserable one is at least more honest. Whether that’s more admirable or not is up to you. Sometimes I wish misery wasn’t connected to the ( Read more... )