I thought of making this one private, but decided against it, as I think I'm now in the mood to convince anyone and everyone to go on a vacation! I'm serious ( Read more... )

LOL I thought this was hillarius ( Read more... )

Wow, there are only two more days and I'm out of here. And I won't be back for a month. And when I do come back, (hopefully) I'll have a guide dog with me. I wonder what its name will be. I hope its a him. I'm just so nervous. I've been reading ashley's training journal from two summers ago and it just sounds so complicated. So many routes, I'm ( Read more... )

I really don't know hy he does this, I really don't. He'll tell me something happened, or imply that something has gone awrye, and when I prompt him further, he'll be like "never mind." or "its nothing ( Read more... )

So am I a failure? officially, I suppose I am. I can't seem to pull out, I'm stuck. I can't even fake it anymore. I purged again tonight. That's twice in two days. That's unacceptable. Its relapse winning and me losing. i have too much, I can't do this to myself. But I'm losing, oh but I'm losing ( Read more... )

So I ate about five bites of lunch and then couldn't handle any more. I now its nothing, compared to what I ought to be eating, but its *something* compaired to nothing at all. And I've kept it down, by the grace of God I kept it down. LOL what a fucked up thing to be proud of? tell me. I'm so proud I didn't fucking starve to death? or slide my ( Read more... )

I purged tonight. Its been a while. I can't believe I did it. I can't believe I couldn't stop myself. I'd even eaten a small dinner earlier on, and was foolishly proud of myself for having kept it down. And then my mom walks in and says "You only ate two spoonfuls or so of rice, that's no dinner." and places a bowl of sweet and sour chicekn on my ( Read more... )

I had a blast this weekend. For the most part, anyway. My eating was a mess for part of the time, but I somehow managed to get myself back on track, though don't ask me how. I'm kind of scared of what will happen at Mira, because I can't really afford to relapse there--but then again, when is relapse affordable? but I can't complain oh so much, ( Read more... )

I don't have too much time to write right now, but I just wanted to let anyone who was reading know that last night was an awful night. But I went out for lunch today with esther and several of our past itinerants and had a great time. That group of people has a way of really making me feel good about myself. The whole time there, I was showered ( Read more... )

Last night, Troy called me. I met Troy last summer. He was the boys' director at a camp that I was at, and we really hit it off well. We were never interested in each other, but we became close friends. Sometimes at night, we would go for walks and we talked a lot. I learned of his past struggle with depression and his low self esteem when it came ( Read more... )