Entry 03

[smellsyourhair]

Some of you on this boat need to reconsider your manners... but some of you are nice enough, like that green-haired girl who cooks in Sergei's. She's got a great personality. Anyone who wants some nice food, you should give Sergei's a gander.

[Now that his very subtle attempt to hook that ugly girl Herz up with one of the single men on the ship is

Comments

1/2

[meinxxherz]

[No really, he totally had something to say...but have a few seconds of silence while he flounders. He'll be back in a minute to try and convey how absolutely--

Just--

In a minute.]

lol retry

[meinxxherz]

why--

What--

I'm--

[He's trying very hard nooot to sound offended. He's actually doing a pretty good job--that he has practice in faking.]

What--w-what made you...think I'm a girl?

Because.

Because I'm--I'm not.

I'm a guy.

I'm...a guy.

I'm male.

...do--do I look like a girl or...

[But he...doesn't! He's six three! He's no ass or hips to speak of! He's noooot a girl!]

[smellsyourhair]

[Edward comes from Stephanie Meyer's universe, where there are no homosexual people and the subject of homosexuality is never once brought up--despite half of it taking place in a highschool.

Edward smiles as Herz flounders.]

It's okay.

[meinxxherz]

Uhm.

No--No, it's--

I'd just--

I'd really--

I-I'd--I'd, uhm, I'd--rather, uhm, people who--who might not, uh, might not know me to know that I'm not--

I'm not a girl.

Because I'm not.

So--

So--

So why do you think I'm a girl?

[He's a BARITONE FOR CHRIST'S SAKE!]

[nottheaveragekg]

[What. Herz doesn't resemble a girl in any sense of the word and now the guy's freaking out. Damned insecurities.]

He's a guy.

[smellsyourhair]

Who is?

[nottheaveragekg]

The green-haired guy in Sergei's. It's a guy, not a girl.

[smellsyourhair]

[Edward is psychic, and he's seen Herz's thoughts about kissing Edward. Since it makes no sense for two men to kiss one another, Herz must be a girl, albeit a pretty fugly one.]

Nooooo.

[nonewbsickness]

Oh, Edward. You are so kind, helping that girl find a boyfriend. I'm so glad I snatched you up when I could.

[smellsyourhair]

I know. I just want someone else to have the merest taste of the happiness we share, Bella.

[nonewbsickness]

Our love is awesome, Edward. Everyone deserves this kind of love.

[smellsyourhair]

I don't know if they could stand it, Bella. I can't take it, I need to feel you in my arms again--let's go somewhere private.

I've heard good things about this 'Carnival' place.

[electroniccrane]

The green-haired girl.

[This is hilarious.]

[smellsyourhair]

Mm, yes. She's charming. Herz Hessian, I believe.

[electroniccrane]

Oh, I know who you mean. I'm sure...she'll find a man who can appreciate her.

[BWA HA HA.]

[smellsyourhair]

That's what I'm hoping. She's a lovely girl. Catchy turn of phrase.

[conquistasal]

There's a girl who works at Sergei's?! With green hair?! 'zotic...!

Y'know, my friend Herz works at Sergei's and has green hair. I wonder if he knows he's gotta twin!

[smellsyourhair]

[Oh dear.]

No, I'm talking about Herz. She's lovely. Fantastic personality.

[conquistasal]

[There's a long pause. Then the sound that one would make if they had been drinking something and then gotten very shocking news and choked on it, except this is without the drinking something part.]

Pfffffuguugh!

Dude!

No!

Herz is a dude! I should know! I lived withim fer, like, six months! I've pretty much seen all'a that, and he's SO a DUDE!

[Sal laughs for a few seconds, then sniffs. You can't see, but he is flicking away tears.]

Yeah... dude...

How do you mistake him for a chick? Are you blind?

[smellsyourhair]

That's really not very nice. Making fun of someone for not being the paragon of their sex's beauty is... I don't know your history with her, but she's a perfectly charming, respectable woman.