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underwater storm of clouds of and hailing octopi ( Read more... )

I feel like I am a piece of garbage. Nothing feels good. I went on a date with a girl a while ago, just coffee. We were going to go out again a week later. Halfway through the week, I was talking to her and after talking for a while she divulged that she "got a boyfriend the other day". Oh well. She kept trying to guess ahead of me about why I do ( Read more... )

i miss my friends and i want to swallow a hand grenade. i turned 20 a few weeks ago, and what am i doing? did i waste how many years? talk talk talk, what problems talk talk talk, how to fix them, talk talk talk. tick talk. fuck. (!)

(!) (!!)...... ... ..

i can fold my hands in my lap
do you want to lock them there?
i can touch so soft, i can
i'm not a monster
i'm not a monster

One week antiversary! It's really not that bad. When commenting before, I would always project that I would be really broken up for a really long time. However, I am fully functional. Words, the fulcrums of questions pitching in my head, like "love", "faith", "honor", "integrity" do not stick in my ribs the way they would have years ago. Instead ( Read more... )

Lots of exercise: run up the elephants stairs, 20 pushups, run down ( Read more... )

just me and the heat. i sunned myself outside on the dorm lawn and listened to stranger in a strange land on audiobook. went to the bank. fifty bucks to my name ( Read more... )

I am learning the same lessons about girls. Today I thought I was going to see Laura. She was just back from Paris. She called me last night and told me she would come see me at one or so today. She called me when she was here, told me she thought that we would go out to some Talky's place I'd heard of a while ago, and to just come down. When I got ( Read more... )