I just ate some salmon sushi rolls - the kind with just the fish - no mayo based sauce or anything. I feel like I am going nuts on this diet so I thought if I ate that it might give me more variety than my same old healthy choice frozen entree. I also got some zero calorie raspberry dasani water - let me tell you it is not that good. Propel is ( Read more... )

I just want to eat. I guess I should do something to get my mind off of it, but I have no motivation. What I really want to do is go home! I can usually slip out of work without anyone knowing or noticing and I am so tempted to do that now. I got here WAY early today anyway so I could leave early as I have someone coming to give me a bid on ( Read more... )

So I told my guy or whatever he is Sunday that I was having doubts about the whole relationship (I mean come on, he is married), so he get really defensive and was like "Do you want me to stop calling you?!" - it pissed me off, I told him I didn't say that I was just having doubts so I didn't feel like having the sexual conversation he wanted to ( Read more... )

Well I just tried on my old little clothes. My size 2's for the most part I can put on but my fat hangs over the side or they are tight to be really comfortable. I like my clothes to look a lot looser, so maybe if I can lose seven or eight more pounds they will be loose like I like. I don't think I want to get down to a size zero - I think it ( Read more... )

So I went to El Torito and downed 2 cadillac margaritas 'cause I felt so crappy about what the damn women at the store said (I cut and pasted below from what I posted on anorexia babes about what they said). I am really self conscious about my body, I don't need other people criticizing it - I do that enough myself. So now I have a buzz going - ( Read more... )

I really feel self destructive right now. I just want to go and eat a huge plate of nachos. I was fine until my guy called me. He was in a crappy mood and didn't get to sleep last night and called me to blow off steam but ended up hurting my feelings. I didn't say anything because I knew he was tired and cranky that was what was talking and not ( Read more... )

So my guy came over last night and we had incredible sex. I have never been with anyone that can make me come so many times. The thing I have been thinking about isn't just the sex though - it is him and us. He is married and we had been seeing each other about a year when I broke it off last fall. Then in April I broke down and saw him again ( Read more... )

So I got up this morning and the scale said I was 130.5, which I was okay with. Then I eat my breakfast (one hundred calories, ten grams of protein) and get back on the scale like the neurotic person that I am and it says 132. Screw it. My old scale did the same thing - I thought it was the scale so I went out and got a new one. I hate it. So ( Read more... )

So I started out doing okay today. I made egg beaters and vegetables for breakfast (lots of protein and filling!). When I started eating it though I smelled this really gross smell and I didn't want to eat anymore. Later I started to get really mad (in my head) at my guy who is out of town taking care of his sick mother - which makes no sense as ( Read more... )

I was going to pay my next door married neighbor to do some work on my house. He came over yesterday to look at it and he tried to kiss me. I pulled away and he tried again. So I told him I had a boyfriend and he asked me if he was going to marry me. What the fuck? So then he didn't try again but he was way too close and was invading my space ( Read more... )