the thing about insomnia is it gives those thoughts you've been keeping at bay because if you dwell on them too long you will literally go insane a chance to break into your head ( Read more... )

1. What did you do in 2009 that you'd never done before ( Read more... )

i'm kind of in hibernation from the world now. breathing, calming down, trying to look ahead instead of down. things are okay ( Read more... )

and it feels like i've got something to prove
but in some ways it's just something to doso me and harvard are through, i'm pretty sure ( Read more... )

all this semester i've been getting tiny stomachaches when i'm anxious, which is several times a week at least. not stomachaches like it actually hurts. but just, i can feel that i've started carrying my anxiety in my stomach. tense. and anxiety, actually, is not the usual way i respond negatively to things. i thought this was new but when i ( Read more... )

like, i have nothing to say at all about the book They Shoot Horses, Don't They?, except that it is awesome and you should read it, which is more than i have to say about any of these other books i could be writing papers on, except i guess The Postman Always Rings Twice but i legitimately have no idea what that book is about, at all. i mean i know ( Read more... )

i feel so fucking broken. not emotionally broken, exactly. maybe more like defunct. like my brain really just doesn't work anymore. like i can't hand in papers on time anymore. or even less than several days late. like i open up word and then feel anxious and blank and i don't understand how i got through high school. i can't think anymore. i don't ( Read more... )

i guess there are things to talk about, maybe. i don't know. lately exciting news, for me, is going to bed early, or getting my laundry done, or my unbelievably fucking hot professor saying something vaguely sex-related which then leaves me helpless for the rest of class. my god, that man, what he does to me. two weeks ago he lectured on BATMAN and ( Read more... )

so apparently i can't do show week and be a functional student at the same time, as evidenced by my currently late paper and my lack of clean clothes and the fact that i didn't go to either of my classes today because I was in the theater until 3:50 putting contact paper on the stage. this upsets me maybe more than it should. okay. i'm letting it ( Read more... )

i made it to all my commitments for the week!! yay ( Read more... )