family portrait [6/?]
title: family portrait
author: hika_nishi
pairing: masuda/tegoshi
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: I own the computer I typed this on. That's it.
summary: Something hits him, the fact he already knew that he’d never be wearing this while he waits at the end of an aisle for that person who means most to him in the world.
Previous: 01 02 03 04 05
On the surface, it seems as if nothing has happen, no significant change visible in their normal affairs. It's a front, they all know it, an effort to keep up the illusion that they are still the content, smiling family in the photo above the kitchen table. That their sons aren't a stain on whatever reputation they've built up.
Masuda still comes over for dinner and things just like usual, something Tegoshi heard their parents discuss for several days before deciding it was best not to change the arrangement. Another attempt to keep up appearances, and to make sure Yukari never found out the there was ever anything between Masuda and Tegoshi. She isn't stupid though, she notices the way their parents keep an extra eye on Masuda, as if there's some secret being hidden.
Tegoshi hates everything about the situation, his parent hovering over him like he's twelve instead of twenty two. According to law, he's an adult and adults are supposed to be able to do what they want, aren't they? But there was no point in arguing about it, his father would probably feed him a string of examples that defend their stance. He has moments when he genuinely hates them for it.
++++
"I hate to say it, Tegoshi, but your parents are really irritating lately," Shige whines as they walk down the sidewalk. It was a sudden surprise invite for a night out, seeing a movie and eating dinner wherever they thought appropriate. Shige was in his house for five minutes when he went to pick Tegoshi up, and in that five minutes, his parents told him least ten times to keep an eye on their son.
"I know," Tegoshi sticks his hands in his pockets. "If they knew we slept together, the only movies we'd be seeing would be on the TV in my room." He smiles at his friend. "Thanks for getting me out for a while, Shige."
"No problem." Shige smiles, opening the door to the theater. He goes off to get tickets, leaves Tegoshi leaning against a wall, looking around at the people walking around, children running around, groups of teenagers laughing, couples whispering to each other, walking hand in hand…
"Shit," his eyes go wide, he takes quick steps toward Shige in the ticket line. "Shige, Shige," he says, tapping on his shoulder. "Takahisa's here."
Shige leans to the side to look. "Hm, look at that."
"You asshole," Tegoshi hits his arm. "You knew he was going to be here."
"Okay, he called me."
"What about all that talk about the right thing?"
"I still believe that," he leans closer to Tegoshi, whispering in his ear. "I'll buy a ticket for your alibi and I'll call you when I have to take you home. You two need to talk, so go," he shoves Tegoshi in Masuda's direction and he obeys, slightly confused by Shige's behavior, but not willing to complain about it. He sees Masuda smile at him when he gets closer, suddenly every worry he had is gone in that moment.
++++
They stumble out a back door of the theater, engaged in a hungry kiss that Tegoshi didn't want to break, the outside air cool against his flushed skin. "I've missed you, Tesshi," Masuda whispers between kisses, lips and teeth scraping over his neck. This probably isn't what Shige was thinking when he got the two of them together to talk, but Tegoshi knew it was inevitable.
He giggles softly. "Idiot, you don't see me any less than normal."
"You know what I mean." Masuda brushes hair out of Tegoshi's face, places a kiss on the tip of his nose. "I'm going to tell her."
Tegoshi stares him in the eye, blinking a few times. "What?"
"Yukari," Masuda says, taking his hand gently. "I'm going to tell her everything. About us."
"Massu…"
"I don't know what will happen, but she deserves to know what's going on between us."
"So," Tegoshi tries to hide the smiles that tries to spread across his face, Masuda putting his marriage on the line isn't something to be happy about. "What is going on between us, exactly?"
"You have to ask?" he says with a nervous laugh. Tegoshi shrugs, touches his arm lightly, Masuda leans in to kiss him, tender and soft. "How much time to you have?"
"Maybe," he starts trying to calculate in his head, "four hours?" Masuda pulls on his hand, hurrying away like a man on a mission.
"Come on, we've got time."
++++
"You're going to put your marriage in jeopardy, you know." Tegoshi draws traces a finger on Masuda's chest, drawing circles like targets and placing soft kisses on them. No, this is definitely not what Shige had in mind, for them to end up in bed in some hotel room with satin sheets and mirrors on the ceiling.
"Well, what's worse, that or screwing around behind her back?" Masuda sighs, sitting up and sliding out of bed to get dressed. Tegoshi doesn't move, watches Masuda's movements in the reflection in the ceiling. "It's not fair to either of you for me to keep this a secret."
"So, you're going to let her make the decision for you?" Masuda's movements stop for a second, Tegoshi starts to laugh. "Coward."
"Shut up," there's a smile on his face despite the words. "You don't have much time, get yourself cleaned up."
Tegoshi makes a whining sound as he gets up, buttoning the shirt he hadn't bothered to take off. "I feel like you're telling me to get up and go."
"It's my revenge for the way you treated me last time," he says sarcastically, sitting on the end of the bed.
"Massu?" Tegoshi takes a seat beside Masuda, fingers playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. "There's something that's been bugging me."
"What's that?"
He bites his lip, looks down at his feet. "That night, I don't get what happened. I mean, I can see why mom and dad would be upset, but you guys talked about stuff like I wasn't there or I was too young to understand. So I want to know, what the hell happened?"
Masuda stands up, starts pacing around a bit, like he's debating whether or not to say anything. "It's embarrassing and stupid," he says nervously.
"It's just me," Tegoshi smiles, getting up and putting his hands on Masuda's shoulders.
He grabs Tegoshi's hips, moves him back toward the bed, pushes him onto his back. "I was over at Koyama's house one day, with him and Yamashita," his voice is soft, as if he doesn't really want to be talking about it. "We accidentally found his dad's porn collection and-"
"At ten?" Tegoshi almost laughs for reasons he can't quite pin point. "Did that fuck you up in the head?"
"Honestly, I don't remember. Anyway, a couple days later, the two of us were playing some game in-"
"If you say you fucked me at nine, I'm running," he tries to sound sarcastic, but his voice comes out uneasy.
"No, no," Masuda climbs over him, a hand running up his leg. "Not quite," he avoids Tegoshi's eyes, a bright shade of pink spreading across his cheeks.
He's a little afraid to ask, but he has to. "So, what-" he's cut off quickly, inhaling sharply when he feels Masuda's hand touching him between his legs, tugging gently. It only lasts a second before Masuda gets up again, goes into the bathroom to turn the water on. "What the hell was that for? Tease," he mumbles the last part.
"It was easier to show you that to say it." Tegoshi can't help but feel a little violated. "Needless to say, mom was a little freaked."
"How unreasonable of her," he jokes as Masuda comes back out into the room.
He walks up to Tegoshi, reaches a hand up to his cheek. "I've loved you for a really long time, Tesshi. I can't let you go again."
"Again?" Tegoshi raises an eyebrows, pouts his lips. "You gave up on me?"
"Dad told me to. I was 'drawing a conclusion from feelings I didn't understand' he said." He sits down again, looking at his feet when he does so. "Remember when mom and dad started sending me to that therapist?"
"When I was thirteen?"
"Right."
"Yeah."
"That was your fault."
"Because you were in love?"
"Not according to the woman I talked to for an hour a week."
"So," Tegoshi leans forward, turns his head so he can look at Masuda's face. "When did you stop buying into that?"
"When you moved away. Don't ask me to explain why, because I don't know myself." A melody starts playing from the pocket of Tegoshi's coat hanging off a chair. "That must be Shige." Masuda pat his back. "Get yourself clean quick, I need to get in there, too." Tegoshi smirks, grabs Masuda by the wrist as he heads toward the bathroom, hoping he gets the point.
++++
It's been six days, Tegoshi hasn't heard from Masuda, not that it's terribly surprising given the current environment at home, but he expected something. If Masuda was going to do what he said he was, there was no way there would be some kind of fallout that would trickle down until it reached his parents. Unless there was some kind of off chance that Yukari would be okay with it. But Tegoshi couldn't see anyone being okay with her husband sleeping with his step brother.
"Yuya, they'll be hear any minute, clean your crap off the table." His mother is rather frantic today, trying to make everything look particularly nice for tonight. Masuda and Yukari are coming over, and according to her, they had something important to tell them. Tegoshi tested the waters earlier commenting that maybe they were separating. "Bite your tongue," had been her approximate response.
Tegoshi feels himself go to pieces when they arrive. Yukari looks happy, which would have been fine on any other day. It's a terrible thing to be disappointed at someone else's happiness, but he is. While she talks to his parents in her typical cheerful disposition, Tegoshi ducks into the kitchen, where he knows Masuda is, getting dinner ready for the family.
"She seems to be taking it well," he says, not trying to hide the frustration he feels. Masuda turns to him at the sound of his voice, but quickly looks away. "Or could it be that you chickened out?" He hears Masuda sigh softly. "You coward. You ass. What happened to being honest? What happened to 'I can't let you go again'? Huh? Come on, Taka, speak up." Tegoshi punches him the arm. "At least look at me like you respect me at all."
"I couldn't tell her," he mumbles quietly. Tegoshi covers his mouth to quiet the frustrated scream that comes out.
"Are you really that much of a coward? Or maybe it was all just fake promises to get me back it bed. What is it? God, I can't believe I let you touch me."
"Yukari's pregnant." Tegoshi goes silent after that. "She told me Tuesday."
"Taka…"
Masuda's voice is shaky, unconfident. "I couldn't tell her. That's my kid and I couldn't…I can't risk losing that." He finally lifts his head, looks Tegoshi in the eye. "Please don't hate me, Yuya. Please."
"Not to sound selfish," Tegoshi starts, voice small, choked in his throat, "but what does this mean for us?"
"I'm sorry."
"We're over, aren't we." Masuda doesn't have to answer, he already knows. Tegoshi turns on his heel, wipes his eyes once his back is to Masuda. He feels stupid, he shouldn't be crying over the end of a relationship that had no right to be in the first place, but he is. It's for the best, he tells himself, once again, as always.
"Yuya,"
"It's fine," he puts on a smile. "I'm happy for you, Taka. Really." He leaves the kitchen before Masuda gets a chance to say anything more. Tegoshi takes a deep breath, walks over to the couch, tapping Yukari on the shoulder. "Yukari-chan?" She looks up at him, a smile on her face. "Taka just told me that," he looks at his mother, decides not to ruin it for her. "He told me." He leans forward to give her a hug. "Congratulations." His mother starts asking questions in quick succession, not leaving space for an answer. "By the way, Yukari-chan, your friend you mentioned a while ago,"
"Sayaka?"
"Yeah, Sayaka." He sees Masuda come out of the kitchen in the corner of his eye. "Can I get her number?"
------------------------
I didn't get a chance to reply to comments last chapter :x sorry. I'll get to them...maybe XD
I spent the weekend working on this and starting to type up what I've written for the Decay sequel. I've been working on that for weeks and I still have so much to write up XD. For this chap, I wasn't going to end it where I did, but it would be too long if it got to where I was planning...
I want to watch Tegomass concert...wah.
author: hika_nishi
pairing: masuda/tegoshi
rating: pg-13
disclaimer: I own the computer I typed this on. That's it.
summary: Something hits him, the fact he already knew that he’d never be wearing this while he waits at the end of an aisle for that person who means most to him in the world.
Previous: 01 02 03 04 05
On the surface, it seems as if nothing has happen, no significant change visible in their normal affairs. It's a front, they all know it, an effort to keep up the illusion that they are still the content, smiling family in the photo above the kitchen table. That their sons aren't a stain on whatever reputation they've built up.
Masuda still comes over for dinner and things just like usual, something Tegoshi heard their parents discuss for several days before deciding it was best not to change the arrangement. Another attempt to keep up appearances, and to make sure Yukari never found out the there was ever anything between Masuda and Tegoshi. She isn't stupid though, she notices the way their parents keep an extra eye on Masuda, as if there's some secret being hidden.
Tegoshi hates everything about the situation, his parent hovering over him like he's twelve instead of twenty two. According to law, he's an adult and adults are supposed to be able to do what they want, aren't they? But there was no point in arguing about it, his father would probably feed him a string of examples that defend their stance. He has moments when he genuinely hates them for it.
++++
"I hate to say it, Tegoshi, but your parents are really irritating lately," Shige whines as they walk down the sidewalk. It was a sudden surprise invite for a night out, seeing a movie and eating dinner wherever they thought appropriate. Shige was in his house for five minutes when he went to pick Tegoshi up, and in that five minutes, his parents told him least ten times to keep an eye on their son.
"I know," Tegoshi sticks his hands in his pockets. "If they knew we slept together, the only movies we'd be seeing would be on the TV in my room." He smiles at his friend. "Thanks for getting me out for a while, Shige."
"No problem." Shige smiles, opening the door to the theater. He goes off to get tickets, leaves Tegoshi leaning against a wall, looking around at the people walking around, children running around, groups of teenagers laughing, couples whispering to each other, walking hand in hand…
"Shit," his eyes go wide, he takes quick steps toward Shige in the ticket line. "Shige, Shige," he says, tapping on his shoulder. "Takahisa's here."
Shige leans to the side to look. "Hm, look at that."
"You asshole," Tegoshi hits his arm. "You knew he was going to be here."
"Okay, he called me."
"What about all that talk about the right thing?"
"I still believe that," he leans closer to Tegoshi, whispering in his ear. "I'll buy a ticket for your alibi and I'll call you when I have to take you home. You two need to talk, so go," he shoves Tegoshi in Masuda's direction and he obeys, slightly confused by Shige's behavior, but not willing to complain about it. He sees Masuda smile at him when he gets closer, suddenly every worry he had is gone in that moment.
++++
They stumble out a back door of the theater, engaged in a hungry kiss that Tegoshi didn't want to break, the outside air cool against his flushed skin. "I've missed you, Tesshi," Masuda whispers between kisses, lips and teeth scraping over his neck. This probably isn't what Shige was thinking when he got the two of them together to talk, but Tegoshi knew it was inevitable.
He giggles softly. "Idiot, you don't see me any less than normal."
"You know what I mean." Masuda brushes hair out of Tegoshi's face, places a kiss on the tip of his nose. "I'm going to tell her."
Tegoshi stares him in the eye, blinking a few times. "What?"
"Yukari," Masuda says, taking his hand gently. "I'm going to tell her everything. About us."
"Massu…"
"I don't know what will happen, but she deserves to know what's going on between us."
"So," Tegoshi tries to hide the smiles that tries to spread across his face, Masuda putting his marriage on the line isn't something to be happy about. "What is going on between us, exactly?"
"You have to ask?" he says with a nervous laugh. Tegoshi shrugs, touches his arm lightly, Masuda leans in to kiss him, tender and soft. "How much time to you have?"
"Maybe," he starts trying to calculate in his head, "four hours?" Masuda pulls on his hand, hurrying away like a man on a mission.
"Come on, we've got time."
++++
"You're going to put your marriage in jeopardy, you know." Tegoshi draws traces a finger on Masuda's chest, drawing circles like targets and placing soft kisses on them. No, this is definitely not what Shige had in mind, for them to end up in bed in some hotel room with satin sheets and mirrors on the ceiling.
"Well, what's worse, that or screwing around behind her back?" Masuda sighs, sitting up and sliding out of bed to get dressed. Tegoshi doesn't move, watches Masuda's movements in the reflection in the ceiling. "It's not fair to either of you for me to keep this a secret."
"So, you're going to let her make the decision for you?" Masuda's movements stop for a second, Tegoshi starts to laugh. "Coward."
"Shut up," there's a smile on his face despite the words. "You don't have much time, get yourself cleaned up."
Tegoshi makes a whining sound as he gets up, buttoning the shirt he hadn't bothered to take off. "I feel like you're telling me to get up and go."
"It's my revenge for the way you treated me last time," he says sarcastically, sitting on the end of the bed.
"Massu?" Tegoshi takes a seat beside Masuda, fingers playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. "There's something that's been bugging me."
"What's that?"
He bites his lip, looks down at his feet. "That night, I don't get what happened. I mean, I can see why mom and dad would be upset, but you guys talked about stuff like I wasn't there or I was too young to understand. So I want to know, what the hell happened?"
Masuda stands up, starts pacing around a bit, like he's debating whether or not to say anything. "It's embarrassing and stupid," he says nervously.
"It's just me," Tegoshi smiles, getting up and putting his hands on Masuda's shoulders.
He grabs Tegoshi's hips, moves him back toward the bed, pushes him onto his back. "I was over at Koyama's house one day, with him and Yamashita," his voice is soft, as if he doesn't really want to be talking about it. "We accidentally found his dad's porn collection and-"
"At ten?" Tegoshi almost laughs for reasons he can't quite pin point. "Did that fuck you up in the head?"
"Honestly, I don't remember. Anyway, a couple days later, the two of us were playing some game in-"
"If you say you fucked me at nine, I'm running," he tries to sound sarcastic, but his voice comes out uneasy.
"No, no," Masuda climbs over him, a hand running up his leg. "Not quite," he avoids Tegoshi's eyes, a bright shade of pink spreading across his cheeks.
He's a little afraid to ask, but he has to. "So, what-" he's cut off quickly, inhaling sharply when he feels Masuda's hand touching him between his legs, tugging gently. It only lasts a second before Masuda gets up again, goes into the bathroom to turn the water on. "What the hell was that for? Tease," he mumbles the last part.
"It was easier to show you that to say it." Tegoshi can't help but feel a little violated. "Needless to say, mom was a little freaked."
"How unreasonable of her," he jokes as Masuda comes back out into the room.
He walks up to Tegoshi, reaches a hand up to his cheek. "I've loved you for a really long time, Tesshi. I can't let you go again."
"Again?" Tegoshi raises an eyebrows, pouts his lips. "You gave up on me?"
"Dad told me to. I was 'drawing a conclusion from feelings I didn't understand' he said." He sits down again, looking at his feet when he does so. "Remember when mom and dad started sending me to that therapist?"
"When I was thirteen?"
"Right."
"Yeah."
"That was your fault."
"Because you were in love?"
"Not according to the woman I talked to for an hour a week."
"So," Tegoshi leans forward, turns his head so he can look at Masuda's face. "When did you stop buying into that?"
"When you moved away. Don't ask me to explain why, because I don't know myself." A melody starts playing from the pocket of Tegoshi's coat hanging off a chair. "That must be Shige." Masuda pat his back. "Get yourself clean quick, I need to get in there, too." Tegoshi smirks, grabs Masuda by the wrist as he heads toward the bathroom, hoping he gets the point.
++++
It's been six days, Tegoshi hasn't heard from Masuda, not that it's terribly surprising given the current environment at home, but he expected something. If Masuda was going to do what he said he was, there was no way there would be some kind of fallout that would trickle down until it reached his parents. Unless there was some kind of off chance that Yukari would be okay with it. But Tegoshi couldn't see anyone being okay with her husband sleeping with his step brother.
"Yuya, they'll be hear any minute, clean your crap off the table." His mother is rather frantic today, trying to make everything look particularly nice for tonight. Masuda and Yukari are coming over, and according to her, they had something important to tell them. Tegoshi tested the waters earlier commenting that maybe they were separating. "Bite your tongue," had been her approximate response.
Tegoshi feels himself go to pieces when they arrive. Yukari looks happy, which would have been fine on any other day. It's a terrible thing to be disappointed at someone else's happiness, but he is. While she talks to his parents in her typical cheerful disposition, Tegoshi ducks into the kitchen, where he knows Masuda is, getting dinner ready for the family.
"She seems to be taking it well," he says, not trying to hide the frustration he feels. Masuda turns to him at the sound of his voice, but quickly looks away. "Or could it be that you chickened out?" He hears Masuda sigh softly. "You coward. You ass. What happened to being honest? What happened to 'I can't let you go again'? Huh? Come on, Taka, speak up." Tegoshi punches him the arm. "At least look at me like you respect me at all."
"I couldn't tell her," he mumbles quietly. Tegoshi covers his mouth to quiet the frustrated scream that comes out.
"Are you really that much of a coward? Or maybe it was all just fake promises to get me back it bed. What is it? God, I can't believe I let you touch me."
"Yukari's pregnant." Tegoshi goes silent after that. "She told me Tuesday."
"Taka…"
Masuda's voice is shaky, unconfident. "I couldn't tell her. That's my kid and I couldn't…I can't risk losing that." He finally lifts his head, looks Tegoshi in the eye. "Please don't hate me, Yuya. Please."
"Not to sound selfish," Tegoshi starts, voice small, choked in his throat, "but what does this mean for us?"
"I'm sorry."
"We're over, aren't we." Masuda doesn't have to answer, he already knows. Tegoshi turns on his heel, wipes his eyes once his back is to Masuda. He feels stupid, he shouldn't be crying over the end of a relationship that had no right to be in the first place, but he is. It's for the best, he tells himself, once again, as always.
"Yuya,"
"It's fine," he puts on a smile. "I'm happy for you, Taka. Really." He leaves the kitchen before Masuda gets a chance to say anything more. Tegoshi takes a deep breath, walks over to the couch, tapping Yukari on the shoulder. "Yukari-chan?" She looks up at him, a smile on her face. "Taka just told me that," he looks at his mother, decides not to ruin it for her. "He told me." He leans forward to give her a hug. "Congratulations." His mother starts asking questions in quick succession, not leaving space for an answer. "By the way, Yukari-chan, your friend you mentioned a while ago,"
"Sayaka?"
"Yeah, Sayaka." He sees Masuda come out of the kitchen in the corner of his eye. "Can I get her number?"
------------------------
I didn't get a chance to reply to comments last chapter :x sorry. I'll get to them...maybe XD
I spent the weekend working on this and starting to type up what I've written for the Decay sequel. I've been working on that for weeks and I still have so much to write up XD. For this chap, I wasn't going to end it where I did, but it would be too long if it got to where I was planning...
I want to watch Tegomass concert...wah.