hey everyone i got a new live journal

user name:drippydippysb

add me..

ive been kind of.. dissapointed in myself lately.. i dont want my parents knowing im suicidal.. but i flat out told them last night. it makes me feel so awkward. i feel they are dissapointed in me and thats not the greatest fucking feeling to have. my psychiatrist moved my lexapro up to 40mg. maybe this will help me. i hope. im sick of feeling so ( Read more... )

i wrote a song and recorded it.. but i plan to do more to it.. so it isnt complete.. but if anyone wants to hear what i have so far let me know.. but i will soon post it on my site.. the song is about someone attempting suicide... but this is nothing new to the person. they love flirting with suicide. they think its attractive in a sense. they ( Read more... )

work was a piece.. i had to stay late because a retarded guy that talks to himself decided to take an hour long break. fuckin asshole. so i didnt get to talk to my dearest. -sigh ( Read more... )

The divergence that I feel and all the conflict growing between us is just unbearable for me. I don’t know what is going on. Nearly everyday is a fight and a struggle between the two of us. Willingly I go along with it because I enjoy it. I like the hurt it brings and I like the making up that follows. But my life shouldn’t be like this.. It is so ( Read more... )

my thoughts continue to contradict themselves. im listening for the sound of hope.. sometimes silence says everything. i feel im in a tragic play. an alleged reason for hurt. at times i trick myself into believing that none of this is real and it is all a dream. i feel much safer when i get in this state of mind. im crazy about the way i feel when ( Read more... )

alright, im in tears again tonight for the third time.. to let go of brittany would be the worse mistake of my life. im in love with her. this was all just a misunderstanding. i just need to hold her.. i just want things to be alright..

but i know ( Read more... )

if only i could stitch your mouth shut so you couldnt push your damaging thoughts on anyone else. why do you have to be such a fucking spectacle? you come off as such an asshole but nothing you say matches what you really are. you try so hard to build a life off of others hurt and misery. you try so hard to build a life off of my hurt and misery. ( Read more... )

i want nothing more but for the rest of you to feel what i do. its indescribable and i dont know how to put this but its a compulsive habit. projected on a screen i see my life so clearly now. i always loved my enemies. i always drowned out the painful voices. but now i see no point in loving someone who cares nothing of me. i think i have a right ( Read more... )