i was full of thoughts until i clicked on "post." now they are mostly gone. dang it. hopefully they will come back as i continue to write ( Read more... )

for the last couple days I have been feeling down and depressed for no specific reason. nothing changed. but i became sad. and i haven't shaken it. hopefully i will soon ( Read more... )

almost everyone says I look better without you. but i miss you. i wish you could just come back immediately. i know you will in time, but it will take so long. i don't recognize myself without you. i appreciate people's compliments, but they make me realize a part of me is missing. i don't know why i did this. i am sorry. please come back. soon.

yesterday i looked in the mirror and realized i had changed ( Read more... )

today was the worst day-before-valentines day i have ever experienced. it was going great for awhile. work was fantastic. my favorite crew, and we were just busy enough to make things fun but not so busy its out of control. but then I went to the UCSB basketball game, and things got interesting (which had nothing to do with the game, i just ( Read more... )

so i just read through some old lj entries, and i came to one from last february, where i talked about how it had been 6 years since i had had a girlfriend, and how i felt that the end to that drought was right around the corner. well, within 2 weeks of that post, katie and I were dating. i wish i felt that prophetic right now ( Read more... )

i am slowly working my way back into more regular posts. the last two weeks have been interesting. finals wore me out, but they ended up all going better than I had hoped. so I am optimistic ( Read more... )

its been so long since I posted. where do I start? i feel like I have so much to say, but yet nothing at all. to put it simply, life is fine. work is good. it wasn't for a while, but now it is good again. school is fine. for a time the ess department and my athletic coaching minor looked to be in jeopardy, but we fought hard for it and things look ( Read more... )

so it really wasn't that bad. the first half an hour monday night was a little rough, just the shock of seeing her, especially with jason sitting right up next to her. but after a little while, it wasn't so bad. and yesterday felt much more normal. we actually talked a little, and it largely felt like old times, like before we were together. which ( Read more... )

 i love how 2 months ago, i could not wait for this weekend. i wanted nothing more than summer to get the hell over with so that she could move back and things could be good again. but instead, when the weekend happened, i got the hell out of santa barbara. there is no place that could have been too far away, but frazier park with my high school ( Read more... )