Ok. So my parents are so incredibaly pissed at me its insane. I took off the other night and went to a town 4 hours away for absolutely NO reason at all, and didnt tell anybody. I was trying to get a hold of a friend up where I had driven to and didnt realize I was calling her mothers cell phone number. I called it about 20 times and her stupid ( Read more... )

My head hurts. To many thoughts in one night. This morning I skipped my swim practice because I claimed to be sick. I woke at 12pm and I got up and went to go tan in my back yard. I went to work at 4 and then my mom called me there which was unusual because nobody called me at work. And before her call another person called asking for my fathers ( Read more... )

Im fat to start off with. Im so sick of eating. That I need to simply stop. But I keep saything this over and over again. And I keep saying THAT over and over again. And I feel hopeless. But I almost just dont care about anything but losing weight anymore. Like honestly no lie. I miss the feeling of being uber skinny. The hardest part for me is ( Read more... )

So today was my last day as a junior in high school. I'm purdy jacked to be on summer break. Party! lol jp. I feel really blue right now. Im at my HW right now and I hate it with all my heart. I'm fat. I was hopeing my boyfriend would want to go out or something after school this morning. But as I was going to my car (parked next to his) he was ( Read more... )

Aaaaa today I started work.... yay. lol it was somewhat boring but its interesting seeing unfamiliar faces sometimes. I got a tip which was cool and stuff. I havent eaten anything and consumed 0 cal. I drank 3 diet sodas which is kinda like not good but I wont drink any tomorrow. Hmm I made my senior schedule for next school year and I hate it. My ( Read more... )

Ok. Its been awhile. Or so it seems. I feel like I could type in this journal forever. Haha. Ok so I cant stop eating. And its not like healthy good-for-you foods. Its like junk food. And at this very moment I am in pain because ive overeaten. Yuck. I am so pathetic. Well my boyfriend seems to be confusing me more and more. He invites me to things ( Read more... )

I havent written in my journal for over a week now due to my internet services quitting on us. So now I have to find a new service. Ha ha dial up sucks anyways. Well for the past week ive been eating about 3000 cal a day. Which is very depressing. Tomorrow im starting my 5 day fast. Then I'm back to my 500 cal restriction. I HAVE to do this. Summer ( Read more... )

Today ive done well so far. 230 calories total. Its almost 8 and I think I'll be good. The day itself was stupid. At prom on saturday one of my friends and I got into this fight. Shes trying to hook up with this disgusting loser guy that I personally hate to death. He is seriously the biggest loser in the school. And I'm trying to convince her not ( Read more... )

Ok well today sucked. And yesterday sucked. And the day before that sucked. And so on and so forth. I cant quit eating. All I feel like doing right now is killing myself. I fucking hate my sisters guts. Before I would kill myself I would fucking shoot her in the fucking head. I know that seems a little disturbed but I guess I am somewhat disturbed ( Read more... )

Yeah. So much for starting my 400 cal/day today. I binged so much I feel like my stomach is going to explode. Everybody is pissing me off. I dont want to drag myself to school tomorrow. I'm starting to feel embarassed walking down the hallways. My clothes feel tight and all I feel like doing is falling asleep until I've lost weight. I went to ( Read more... )