Here I am again. Feeling physically full and my soul so empty. For the past 5 days I've been eating anything and everything whenever I wanted. I really need to start controling myself. It's rather difficult living up to my own expectations. I so determined to be 125lbs. So that means losing 30lbs. That seems like so much. Simply fasting is ( Read more... )

I just dont know anymore. So many things going wrong in this life anymore. Everything... and I mean EVERYTHING is going bad. This depression overwelms me like a dark cloud drenching me with acid eating away everything I used to strive for. As much as I hate to admit I really need somebody to talk to who understands and who doesnt judge. Im just so ( Read more... )

Today started off perfectly. I didnt eat breakfast. I ate 4 baby carrots and half a cup of soup for lunch. I had track practice after school and I felt great when I got home. Then I decided to eat a banana to help with my leg cramps from running. And one thing led to another and I ended up bingeing a lot. I have a hard time purging and I could do ( Read more... )

Today was better than the others. I ate an over all of about 800 calories which is better than the 2000 i usually consume. I had a small binge that I got rid of immediately and it wasnt hard like the last times. I now weigh 150. Thats 7 lbs lighter than when I started this monday. It should get easier and easier. I hope. Well its getting late so I ( Read more... )

Today I planned not to eat anything but my breakfast. I ended up eating a little lunch and bingeing after school. I ran a total of 3 miles afterwards but I dont think it helped. I wasnt late for school which is a plus. My father wants me to go on a over night trip with he and my sister to watch them play basketball and I dont really want to go. I ( Read more... )

Today was like most days, I woke and was about 2 min late for school as always. I told myself I wasnt going to eat anything but what I gave into at breakfast. I ended up eating lunch and supper. Damn it. I feel so depressed and sad. I hung out with my boyfriend after school which was ok. God I wish I had a lot of self disipline. I need to lose ( Read more... )