Amelia wrote down her last memory of her family, so I thought I'd write down my last memory of Bones cos I don't want to forget either. Even though I doubt I could forget, you never know ( Read more... )

GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME? OTTO SIGNED NO SORT OF PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT! YET HE AGREED TO PAY ALIFUCKINGMONY SHOULD THEY EVER PART! THIS IS HORRIBLE! OTTO IS GOING TO BE A PAUPER! THEN HE'S GOING TO CRY ON MY SHOULDER AND SLEEP ON MY COUCH AND EAT ALL MY FOOD AND MOPE AROUND SCRATCHING HIS BALLS IN MY HOUSE IN JUST HIS FUCKING SHORTS FOR MONTHS ( Read more... )

So I couldn't celebrate my nineteenth birthday properly on Monday cos of having to testify in front of Wizengamot. (FYI: I killed a man!) And, yeah, that went. I don't think I can talk about it, which is fine cos I don't feel like fucking talking about it. But that shite is over and done with! Fuck it all to hell! It's Friday, and I'm nineteen and ( Read more... )

There're two dead people on me, and I'm missing part of a finger. I think Bones put some sort of numbing charm on me cos I can't feel the entire right side of my body anymore. And, wait a second... Bones isn't here. BONES, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU? WHY DID YOU PUT DEAD PEOPLE ON ME? MY LEG IS GOING TO SLEEP! THAT'LL MAKE ME EVEN MORE FUCKING ( Read more... )

ANDI I NEED TO SAY SOMETHING JUST IN CASE SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS HERE TODAY! DO NOT LET SIRIUS BECOME THE MAIN MAN IN DORRIE'S LIFE! THAT FUCKER CAN BE SOME OTHER POOR SPROG'S FUCKED UP FATHER FIGURE, BUT NOT MY ONLY GIRL'S! PLEASE FOR LOVE OF GOD DON'T LET HIM DO IT! CHANGE THE FUCKING LOCKS! MOVE TO ANOTHER COUNTRY! HONOUR MY MEMORY! YOU KNOW I ( Read more... )

BONES? ARE YOU READING THIS? DID YOU MANAGE TO BREAK AWAY FROM THOSE IDIOTS? C'MON ANSWER THIS PLEASE PLEASE! EVERYONE WAS MOVING TOO FAST AND I LOST SIGHT OF YOU! OBVIOUSLY GOING DOWN WAS A REALLY FUCKING STUPID MOVE ON MY PART. I'M SORRY! ANSWER ME! BONES?

After reading Bones' post, I thought I should inform the public that my godson's birth was neither calm nor easy for poor Angelica. It was simply brilliant for Bones and I due to the fact we took enough sedatives between us to levitate a fucking Clydesdale, but Angelica with her silly ideas about natural birth making the moment more memorable did ( Read more... )

I heard that the career meetings were this week at Hogwarts. Can't forget the one I had at the end of my seventh year. It just warms the cockles of my fucking heart. I'll prolly never forget it since I have now determined it was the day that this metaphorical arse fucking life's been giving me officially started. So, thank you so very much ( Read more... )

So I sat on Barty Crouch's front garden this morning. (It's at 98 Smiddy Road, Caithness, Scotland, for those of you still interested in sending letters or, preferably, egging his house.) And what can I say other than WHAT A FUCKING WASTE OF TIME. Though it was funny to see Paisley Moonjava, cockmuncher extraordinaire, cry and lead a sing-a-long, ( Read more... )

( Read more... )