12AM: Preperation for baking begins. Last minute ingredients are purchased. Jeff refuses to negotiate with a hydra ( Read more... )

I received two voice messages from Monica when she was shamelessly drunk. This post is a sort of warning to anyone who drinks-- just think, if you can't even talk on a telephone while drunk, then you certainly shouldn't be motoring around in a car while drunk. In conclusion: DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE OR DRINK AND DIAL OR BASICALLY DRINK AND DO ( Read more... )

Frohergeist (9:43:56 PM): Ma'am, I have good news.

darling dont (9:44:18 PM): yesssssssssssss?

Frohergeist (9:44:23 PM): We can save you up to six billion dollars on your car insurance rates.

darling dont (9:44:28 PM): YAY!

darling dont (9:44:30 PM): <3 ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

"Just in terms of allocation of time resources, religion is not very efficient. There's a lot more I could be doing on a Sunday morning."

--Bill Gates

-------------

I just... love... the idea of Bill Gates going to a minister and saying "You want to know why I'm not religious? That hour I spent in church? I just lost $650,000 ( Read more... )

( Make Your Own Rules )

( Read more... )

I guess it is funny that I'm apparently attractive to creepy gay foriegn men, but still, you could have gotten that across without the cock grab. I can understand being aggressive in trying to pick people up, even when you're being almost cartoonishly ignored-- whatever. No problem with that. But unless I say "Please put your hand on my penis ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

The world almost had one less Shawn-Paul Szyszka tonight, on account of drunk driving! As I was waiting stopped at the front of a four way intersection, some drunk woman tried to make a turn from the east quadrant to the south quadrant. However, on account of drunk driving, she misjudged the proper lane she should have been in (i.e. any lane that ( Read more... )