It's You [chapter 5]

[the_lost_melody]

Title: It's You
Rating: PG-13 || Genre: Romance/Drama || Status: On-Going || Chapters: 5/6
Pairing(s): MinSu
Previous Chapters: 1 || 2 || 3 || 4
Basic Synopsis: Junsu is an eighteen year old teen who thinks his life is just too boring. Ever since his best friend left the country and he stayed behind, nothing new seems to happen. That is until is friend, Seung Ri, forces him to go on a double date and by chance he meets someone who might make his life fun again.

A/N: This one is ending soon, since the next chapter will be the last one. For those who might be interested, there is already more to come so if you like my overly simple (T_T) way of writting, I dare you to guess what comes next. So, what pairing/OTP you think will be on the next fic? Try and guess. Just for fun ^^ The winner gets MinSu cookies XD

         
Junsu was never a person that could get used to have a routine. He did not like to have something pre-determined to do (apart from school, which was actually an obligation) and still, Junsu’s days had become quite customary.

Everyday he would leave his house at the same hour and have breakfast on his way, passing by Changmin’s shop, only to look from outside while his (ex)boyfriend arranged the cakes on the shop’s window and after looking at him from afar for a fair amount of time, Junsu would go on his way to school.

He did not speak to Changmin again ever since their fight at his house. After that night, Changmin had been gone for three months and Junsu only knew about it because Taemin told him that his boss had left to Paris where he was directing an event and would participate in a seminar.

Junsu had thought about talking to him, but did not have the courage to do so. After that night, he had send various text messages and left some on Changmin’s voice mail but no reply came. A few days later, Junsu learned about Changmin’s departure to Paris and assumed that he did not want to talk to him again. He could understand why.

Taemin did not know when Changmin would be back so Junsu was happy when three months later he saw him again at the shop.

As for Seung Ri, he had not mention a thing about that night until the day he got tired of seeing Junsu depressed so he approached his friend.

“Junsu, can we talk?”

Junsu looked at his friend, sighing (and annoying Seung Ri even more) “Does it have to be now?”

“Yes, it does.” Seung Ri puled a chair and sat near Junsu that gave him all his attention. “Okay, let’s see how I can say this… I think-“ he stopped suddenly, trying to think of what to say “I think you got something wrong about me, Junsu and I wanted to clear that once and for all.”

Junsu looked intrigued with Seung Ri’s serious talk “What is this about?”

“It’s about Changmin” he said and Junsu looked away instantly. He didn’t want to talk about it. “Junsu, we HAVE to talk about this. You are not speaking to him anymore?” Junsu nodded “You were together, weren’t you?”

Junsu gulped, knowing that Seung Ri was right and finally said it. “Yes, we were.”

Seung Ri let out a sigh. He had been suspecting that after seeing Changmin at Junsu’s house. “I figured it was something like th-“

“I know what you are thinking,” he interrupted, head down and eyes locked on the floor “You are thinking that it’s disgusting and that you did not know about it, because I did not tell you and you probably did not know what to do, but-“

“Junsu, I don’t mind.” Seung Ri said, making his friend lose his trail of thought. “Why would I mind? You are old enough to know what to do, who to date or who to sleep with and no one has a thing to do with it. I was surprised, I admit it, but that is nothing to be ashamed of. I’m sorry that my reaction made you think like that because I don’t want to be in any way the reason for you and him to be apart. I am telling you now and I can tell him too.” Seung Ri said with a smile “I am just so sick of seeing you looking like an idiot, feeling depressed.”

“Are you saying that you aprove of it?” Junsu asked, still in shock and Seung Ri laughed at him. Loudly.

“I don’t have to aprove anything. I am your friend, I want you to be happy and if Changmin makes you feel like that, then be it.”

Junsu felt so relieved after listening to those words. It was like a weight leaving his shoulders, as strange as it might seem, but anyway, he had to face reality. “Well, it’s too late now. I told him some things I should not have.”

“Have you tried to talk to him?” Junsu just nodded “Junsu, you go to his shop everyday and just stare at it. Have you thought about going in and talking to him?”

For once Seung Ri was right and Junsu did exacly what his friend had suggested. Two days later, Junsu went to Changmin’s coffee shop and got in. When Leeteuk neared him to take his order, the boy only asked for Changmin and as soon as the waiter called his boss, Changmin signalled the younger so that they could talk in a more private place: the playground at the back of the shop.

Changmin started first.

“What did you want to talk about?”

“You know what.” Junsu whispered just loud enough for the elder to listen.

“Oh. Still the same thing?”

“Changmin I,” the boy started, looking for the best words “I wanted to appologize to you. I am sorry for what I did. I swear I am.”

“And what do you want to do now?”

“I tried to talk to you a few months ago, but you went out of the country and a few days ago Seung Ri told me I was an idiot.”

“Well, I must agree entirely with him. You are an idiot. An insecure idiot who does not know what he wants.” Changmin stated.

“I know,” Junsu lowered his head “I know I was wrong, but I regret it and I am appologizing for what I did.”

“If appologizing would solve anything, there would be no one in prision and the hell would be empty.”

Changmin was irreductible and Junsu felt like that conversation was not going to get him anywhere. “You are not going to forgive me, aren’t you?” Junsu asked or more like stated.

“That is not the question. I can forgive you, but I won’t stop feeling hurt every time I remember about what you said to me. If I forgive you what are you going to ask next? For me to go back to you?”

“Maybe?” Junsu tried

“No”

Junsu pouted, but Changmin did not seem moved by it “Is that a definite ‘no’ or can you still reconsider it?"

“Junsu, You don’t know what you want. You have changed your mind about the fact that I did not mean a thing to you? Or the fact that the night we have spend together had no meaning at all?"

Junsu was tired of hearing those words. He heard them all day long in his mind and he sure did not want to listen to them again coming from Changmin.

“I was confused Changmin. I know I was stupid, I know I was wrong and I am sorry. I spoke about something I did not feel.”

“You are too insecure. You are afraid of what your friends might think about you dating me to the point where you have to hide me from them. You cannot decide whether you want to go on with this or not. How can you ask me to trust you when you say you want me back?” Junsu tried to answer to Changmin’s words, but the man kept going “What do you feel Junsu? What do you really want? Can you tell me?”

He was pushing it. Pushing him. Trying to make him decide.

“I… I know I want to be with you…” Junsu whispered and apparently that was not the correct answer because Changmin looked away from him and suddenly told the boy that he had to go back to work. “Changmin, I like you. I know I do!” Junsu shouted, but the taller man was already heading to the back entrance of his shop, leaving Junsu alone.

Another month went by and Junsu was still going to the coffee shop and would look at Changmin from outside.

He could not focus on anything in class and at home it was even worse because everytime he had nothing to do, he would think about Changmin and (probably) turning to be somehow sadistic, he would flip the pages of the photo album he had and stare at those happy smiles plastered on their pictures.

Becoming even more depressed than before, Junsu managed to worry Seung Ri and even Yoochun. He did not tell his best friend the reason why he and Changmin were not together anymore because he knew that Yoochun would be mad at him and his attitude, so he told him that they were not as meant to be as he thought.

Nonetheless Yoochun managed to know the real story behind their break up and did not waste time, calling Junsu as soon as he could.

“Hello?”

“You idiot! What did I tell you??” Yoochun’s screaming voice got into Junsu’s ear, making him put the phone away for a minute.

“I’m sorry? Yoochun, are you drunk?”

“You must definitely have some serious mental problems. I am sure of that!”

“What did I do?”

“First: you lied to me, second: you are an idiot.”

Lied? Junsu did not recall lying to Yoochun and he was definitelly not understanding why his best friend was so upset at him.

“When did I lie to you?”

“When you told me that you and Changmin broke up because you had different thoughts.”

“Oh.” So that was it, Junsu thought.

“’Oh’? Are you dumb or what?”

“Yes…”

Yoochun sighed. “What did I tell you? ‘Junsu, you are thinking too much. Follow your feelings’ and what did you do? The exact opposite!”

“Yoochun-ah…”

“Don’t Yoochun-ah me! I’m pissed at you! What is wrong with you? Do I have to go there and beat you up so that you wake up?”

Junsu proceeded into asking Yoochun how did he come to know what had happened, to which his seemingly calmer friend said that he received a call from a very worried Seung Ri, asking him to try and get Junsu’s ideas in place.

“I already know what you are going to tell me. You want me to go to Changmin, appologize and ask him to come back and all that stuff, right? Well, I did that and it didn’t work.”

“Of course it didn’t. Exacly what have you told him, Junsu?”

Junsu inhaled deeply before going on. “I told him that ‘that’ was not what I wanted, that he had pushed me into it and that it didn’t mean anything to me.”

There was a small pause until Yoochun started screaming again.

“Are you out of your mind? Why didn’t you accuse him of sexually harrassing you instead?? Oh, I’m sorry, you actually did that…” Yoochun said, sarcastically

“It’s just that Seung Ri saw him and-“

“So what? Didn’t you like him?” Yoochun asked

“Yes”

“Didn’t you spend the night with him because you wanted to?

Junsu sighed. “Yes, I know but I panicked when I saw Seung Ri. I did not know what to do and I told him the first thing I thought but it was not like I felt like that.”

“Well, I’d say you are an expert into making someone break up with you for good. You stepped over his heart and you know it. You should think about what you feel, about what you want. What is it that you want, Junsu?”

Junsu was glad Yoochun could not see him over the phone. He was struggling not to cry, his face looking as miserable as ever while trying to keep his ideas in order and talk to his friend.

“I want him back, Yoochun. I want to be with him. I know I made a mistake, I said things that were not true. He is everything to me, he means everything to me. I cannot imagine not being with him because if there is something I am certain is that I love him.”

Wasn’t that exasperating? Yoochun sure thought so, after hearing what Junsu should have realized sooner.

“You should have told him that!” Yoochun said, with a desperate tone.

“It’s easier to tell you.”

Yoochun could sense a pout, even if he was not looking at his insecure friend. “Yes Junsu, but no matter how much you can possibly love me, I do prefer you to say that to Changmin, okay?”

“He doesn’t want to talk to me”

“Well then,” Yoochun concluded “You will spend your entire life regretting that you have a big mouth and an empty head.”

After finishing the call and turning off his cellphone, Junsu threw the device to his bed, thinking of what he might do to fix the mess he had made and talking by himself while at it.

“Think Junsu! Alright, let’s see what options do I have… first option: I do nothing. He doesn’t want to see me anyway; second option: I go to him, pull him out of that kitchen and talk to him, whether he wants to or not; third option: For a much more drastic attitude, I go to him, and kiss him until he begs me to let him breathe; finally the fourth option: Aply option three, but in public.”

Junsu was happy that he had thought about all those options, now all he needed was to have the guts to do it.

“Well, I can always lock him somewhere and make him listen to me… No, that would make me look like a psycho. Although if I could get him to listen to me that would be a start. No, no, I can’t. What should I do?”

After all the thinking Junsu came with a different plan: he would wait for Changmin to arrive at the coffee shop and talk to him.

The next morning, a shivering Junsu waited outside Changmin’s shop. He was there since 5 am and did not even think that he might froze up or catch a cold since it was rainning nonstop.

Changmin got to the shop an hour and a half later and almost got a heart attack when Junsu popped out of nowhere.

“What are you doing here? It’s 6:30 in the morning!” He said, trying to get his act together after the scare Junsu had given him.

“I was waiting for you. Can you please open the door and let me in before I freeze up?”

Changmin looked at the boy once more before passing right through him and opening the shop’s door, letting him in. Junsu got in hurriedly and got a seat while rubbing his hands.

“Take of your coat. It’s all wet.”

Junsu did what he was told and hung his coat near the door. Meanwhile, Changmin was already on the other side of the counter.

“Cappuccino?” Offered the man

“Yes, please.” Junsu managed to mutter while still looking at Changmin, going from side to side, taking care of his order.

“Are you going to tell me what you came here to say or are you planning on keep on staring at me?”

“I came to ask you if you have changed your mind about me yet.” Junsu asked, smiling but earning a cold look from Changmin.

“You want to know if I still think you are an idiot? Yes, I do.”

That was harsh. “Here, drink it.” Changmin placed the cup in front of Junsu that looked at him with watery puppy eyes and pouted.

“You don’t like me anymore, do you?”

“Don’t go that way, Junsu.”

“Then where should I go? Do you want me to kneel down and beg you?”

“That would be interesting” Changmin said, smiling devilishly and as soon as he did, Junsu started getting low “You are not really kneeling, are you?”

“Don’t you want me to?”

“Of course not. Do I look like I want to humiliate you? Get up.” Changmin seemed upset once more. Junsu on the other hand smiled and gave Changmin a perverted look. Since he was down there and all… but Changmin dissuaded him.

“Why?” The younger asked.

“Because I don’t want to, because we broke up, because we are inside my shop, because it’s cold… Do you want any more reasons?”

“Alright. Anyway, is there anything I can do for you to forgive me?” Junsu was on his feet again, in front of Changmin, eyes locked on his.

“You could mature. That would be a start.”

Junsu simply gave up. That was not going to work.

“You know what? I know I was an idiot, I know I hurted you and I regretted it the moment you left my house that night, but I cannot change the past. I screwed up, it’s done and I can’t change that, but I am trying to fix this for months now.

I waited for you to come back from Paris, I talked to you, I appologized and I would kneel down if I had to. I know you are hurt, but I want to believe that you still like me. I want to believe that because I like you. A lot.”

“Junsu, I don’t-“

“To hell with all this crap! I love you, okay?”

And suddenly, there was silence…