I've been doing ok. Better than I was. Not as good as a I will be. Sleep is still elusive, if not more so than before, but I have been trying harder for it. Therapy is going alright. Most days I don't feel like I'm going to die, it really depends on the day though. I'm going to be trying desensitization therapy for my agoraphobia soon. I've been in ( Read more... )

I'm sick to death of sitting up at night like this. My head is just so full of thoughts and worries, I can't stop thinking to get any damn sleep ( Read more... )

I had my first appointment with new therapist. I survived. I didn't break down and die like I thought I would. But afterwards I was so depressed. I just tried not to move for a couple hours. We filled out paperwork and talked about treatment and goals and money. This is going to be a lot of work. But what else do I have going on ( Read more... )

I can't sleep because my mind is too full. I finally found a therapist who's willing to interview with me. Getting turned down once was a blow to the ego, getting turned down again will just reduce me to a pile of dust. Which isn't far from what I feel like on any given day anyway. We'll see how it goes. Lets see if I can even get through it ( Read more... )

I'm feeling such a fool this morning. I just had a way too personal conversation with one of the last people I should be talking to. And now I can't take any of it back. But why did I even have the conversation in the first place. Loneliness. I'm so fucking lonely. So lonely that I'm starting to have conversations of the MOST personal nature with ( Read more... )

How long should a panic attack last? Cuz this one is on day 8 and I haven't slept, I can barely eat, I'm so agitated. I can't hold still, I can't breathe. It's 3am in the morning and I'm forcing Alex to sleep in the living room with me so I can have company while I pace, back and forth and back and forth, trying not to cry. Again ( Read more... )

It breaks my heart into a million pieces that I can't find any record of your obituary. You were one of the most wonderful people I've ever met and for there to be no easily found record of you leaving is torturous. You were, I hate saying you were, because so shortly ago you were still here, you ARE amazing. You took such good care of us. Such ( Read more... )

My anxiety is ruining my life. I've been told that my behavior is rude, disrespectful and lazy. I'm not trying to be rude, I'm just trying to keep my shit together. If I go running from a room you need to understand that it's not you it's me. It's not you IT'S ME! I'm fucking broken ( Read more... )

I quit my awful job and got an amazing one but then got fired because my new manager didn't like my personality. So, I'm going to school full time and trying to deal with my panic attacks. My band has been super busy but I've been having more and more trouble performing lately because of the increasing intensity of my panic attacks. Fun! I've been ( Read more... )

something needs to change. i need to move. my life is becoming more and more repetitive. i work hard, i go to school, then i work harder, then go to school. i'm bored of everything. i make no major achievements, i just do and do and do and nothing comes of it. 5 years of doing the same thing everyday and seeing no accomplishments. something has got ( Read more... )