Still pregnant ( Read more... )

It's pretty fucking neat to be living in the same household with both your ex-husband and the father of your unborn kid.

Very, very neat, I swear it.

I want pancakes.

( Read more... )

This post is dedicated to John who wrote a most excellent fucking story concerning Theoden, Grima, and moi. I would offer him sexual favours but I think he might scream and go catatonic, thus halting any activity from his puppets. And then I would weep ( Read more... )

::loosens belt from arm::

::spots this fine looking fella::

::gropes him good::

::molests::

::steals his knickers::

You can either come and stay with me or go home with a bare ass. Your call.

In my drug haze and observing the events happening to my dear sweet daughter Eommie, I've decided that I need a new body to own.

Yes.

A new body to own.

YOU.::karate-chops the back of the elf's neck ( Read more... )

( well, son cosas de la vida. )

Hey Eowyn.

I know you pine after that Gondor fucker and you want to kill him, but what would you think about having the Gondor fucker's elf boyfriend in your custody and maiming him, eh? For stealing the Gondor fucker's attention away from you.

Hama is brilliant.

This will be fresh sport before you gun that Gondor fucker to death even though it' ( Read more... )

Where have I been? Probably tripping off my ass on cherry cough syrup, see? Remember cherry cough syrup? Of course I wasn't here when it was all the rage but someone I know was ( Read more... )

Awww, my daughter is finally deciding to become a lesbian!!! This may be the happiest day of my life. I remember the old days when Elfhild and I played wanton games of--

Nevermind.

My brother is currently in Mandos? Being tortured. This will not do. Mundy! Do something! I love myself too much to die and save even my brother. Sorry, Theo ( Read more... )