I didn't expect it to be like this.

dear you,

i need you to know that

i still have those urges

but

they are nowhere near as frequent or intense as they used to be

and maybe someday will be gone

altogether.

and i have no idea how to feel about that.

love,

me

This morning, you were close.

I felt you there.

Beside me.

Behind me.

Breathing down my neck.

And I turned away.

I'm back.

I'm still alive.

More alive than I used to be.

And, I miss you.

All of you.

There is nothing here for you any more.

All service has been suspended until further notice.

Thank you for your cooperation.

( Crisps and Ninjas. )

Things To Do:

Buy wedding present
Find passport
Get dollars
Get travel insurance
Buy something to wear at the wedding
Pack

Two down, four to go.

I saw my sisters after work last night, briefly, on the way to rehearsals. I probably won't see them again until the end of August. My 13 year old sister has to do a Spanish Exchange as part of her GCSE course. She has to have a 13 year old Spanish boy come and stay over here for a week, and then go and live in his house in Spain for a week. That ( Read more... )

Seven days to go.

In seven days I am going to San Francisco, and I will not be coming back.

Physically, yes, I shall return - but that won't be "me".

Whatever happens over there, I will be a different person when I get back.

So, there's only seven days of this version of me left.

Good riddance.