I've distanced myself from so many people over the years. This time for people who don't care about themselves - much less me. I may need a new start soon

I keep thinking everything just eventually stop hurting but it never does.

a conversation ( Read more... )

let's just talk about all the crazy shit that has happened during year 21 of my life.

its to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car,
when the first star you see may not be a star.
"i'm not your star,"
isn't that what you said what you thought the song meant?..//

i woke up in the shower this morning.

my feelings pull me in so many different directions. i miss adam but i'm having such a hard time. i can't tell if i only have these feelings because i want something i can't have, or if i really miss him as much as i think. i know i was really disappointed when i saw he had a chance to write me and didn't. i don't deserve to feel like that. i just ( Read more... )

its been hectic the last few days trying to find time for us between packing and cleaning. finally got him to the airport this morning, i'm doing really well so far. this will either bring us together later or pull us apart. i'm not sure which i want. i don't want to force either but i don't want to be alone. i really do miss him.

nothing breathes here in the cold
nothing moves or even smiles
i've been thinking some of suicide
but there's bars out here for miles
sorry about the every kiss
every kiss you wasted bad
i think the thing you said was true
i'm gonna die alone and sad..//

i've decided to move closer to downtown. i can't stand my house anymore but moving will be such a hassle. adam is leaving for australia this week for 70 days. i really need him to leave to get over him. sad but true. living alone will be good for me. i need to learn to live alone.