quick update:: i'm ok, can't really type though. some pain but ok overall. sleeping alot. thanks as always for your support.

feel crummy. haven't answered emails or replies; just too hard. still can't control my pain even w/ the heavy stuff. stupid lymphedema. i swell up and have spikes of pain. i take the heavy drugs then i'm a sleeping zombie all day. this sucks. i can't even tell myself i'll feel better soon 'cause i won't. that hurts. this is so depressing ( Read more... )

Hospice. We went all the way downtown (which was so painful) for the doc to tell me its all over. "Weeks to months." I have too many tumors, in too many different places, doing too much damage for further chemo to be feasable. I feel so helpless. So afraid. I didn't think it would get to this point so quickly. We'll get a second opinion, but ( Read more... )

i'm so depressed i can't stand it. didn't make it out of bed at all yesterday. so far not today either. so much breakthrough pain docs can't do anything about. this isn't fair. i want this cancer out of me!!!! i know pain drugs mess w/ my mood, so that could be the cause of my depression now. i just want to cry. well, time for more drugs, ( Read more... )

I just wanted to say how much your support means to me...thank you. You all give me such strength ( Read more... )

had my ct today; doc called not 8 hours later. i have a blood clot in my inferior vena cava. the pelvic tumors have grown too much for surgery. lung mets grew. clot could dislodge anytime and cause pulminary embolism which doc thinks would kill me. he said that would be preferable to the painful tumor death in his opinion, when i asked what ( Read more... )

tired, depessed. ct on tues to see if tumor has grown too much...my life literally on the line with that one. i'm scared. the pain sucks. can't take morphine (makes me itch/puke and frankly doesn't help anyway). on methodone, percocet, and neurontin regularly. i usually need a valium once, sometimes twice when the swelling just won't let ( Read more... )

too much pain. hopefully tomorrow's appt w/ lymph pt will help. it did temp. last time. now, though, nothing stops pain. just crazy. i wish it would stop :(

just a quick note...i'm about the same, though i have an appt w/ a lymphadema physical therapist monday---maybe that will help...crossing my fingers. computer time is still hard, so frustrating!!!! i get so dizzy...hopefully later i'll be up to working on my magazine. thanks as always for your support, it helps so much to know i have support ( Read more... )

Change in meds, we'll see if it helps...getting off topamax after some arguing w/ doc...foot was so numb I was falling a lot in bathroom...so much pain! ow! doc wanted to just lower dose to 30mg/day from 100 /day--even when I said less than 100 gave me pain! all was done through nurse over phone, so i think that was part ofthe trouble. need to ( Read more... )