i wish i could see your face
see it once again
and tell it everything
everything ive been keeping
from you

these past five years

the bottles hidden
under the bed

the letters
written to past loves

the nights spent
alone with strangers

and the tears
cried over your death

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on your wedding day
i sat next to your grandmother
who cried the whole time

i held her hand in mine
and watched you kiss your bride
and touch her golden hair

four years later
we sat side by side
at your grandmothers funeral

you held my hand in yours
and kissed the tears
from my wet face

too old to apologize

walking home
from our picnic
next to our late mothers grave

we saw the smoke
a dozen blocks away
and knew we were all we had left

what the hell ever happened to indie rock??!!

thru the crack in the bathroom door
i watched you pack your things
as i sat there on the floor
to fucking sad to do anything about it.

the day we went to the zoo
you snuck into the giftshop
and won my heart
with silly little animals.

i know ill never see you again.

i've said my goodbyes,
but i just can't forget
how that green shirt
(with the missing buttons)
and the pink tank top
lay together
in the back of our pick-up truck
(that ran out of gas)
and when we had the strawberry patch
and the neighbor
let his snakes live in it
and how
they never

ate

the

strawberries.

(even when the sun was out all day

the summer we spent all of our money
(from working at the crab shack on the pier)
on novels from the old bookstore,
i realised
(between bites of cotton candy)
i fell in love with you
because your pillow cases were so soft,
your hair so brown,
and your voice so filled with some big secret.

i can't get you out of my head

i closed my eyes to forget
maybe just for tonight
the way you feel beside me
and your warmth beneath the sheets

i don't know what im doing here
night after night
behind closed eyes its always you and me
but the morning always comes