I don't think I've ever been so happy! I got my first flame! Somebody thought that I was a disgusting enough individual based on my online writings that they felt the need to tell me I needed counseling! Ah, life is good... Here is the comment they left me ( Read more... )

I am worth $2,541,172.00 on HumanForSale.com

Can anybody beat that?
Probably...

This really shouldn't count as an update... but oh well


( Read more... )

Well, it's been a sufficiently long time since I updated this pathetic excuse for a blog, so it's time for another trip into overblown ideas that I probably don't really believe. Today's topic: Binge eating contests. Why are guys such morons? Now, I realize that I am a guy, and that I appear to be bashing my own kind, but I doubt there are any guys ( Read more... )

If anyone ever wanted proof that I'm a dick, here it is!

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I am a chick magnet. Everywhere I go, I hear a rumor about some girl that wants to jump my nuts. I must have some gene that is attracting these girls. Unfortunately, whatever "chick-magnet" gene I have is either not working properly, or else it is programmed to only attract very ugly girls. Now, I'm sure they have nice personalities and all, but I ( Read more... )

I have been accused of writing too much about penises. I do not deny these accusations, and today I embrace the penis. Well... I don't... EMBRACE the penis. I'm just going to talk about it, that's all. I swear I'm not gay. But it'd be ok if I was gay, right? I love boobs ( Read more... )

Puking is a curious thing. People hate, love, fear, and desire the puke. Sometimes all at once. When someone is sick with Satanflu, the only peace they have is the brief period of time following each vomit. A binge drinker does not want to puke, until it becomes a need. Once that level of drunkenness is reached, puking up a lung is the only thing ( Read more... )

Man, I really hate getting fucked in the butt. Well, figuratively anyways. I mean, I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't like getting an erect penis shoved repeatedly into my lower crevasse, but since I have avoided such activities I can't be positive. But as far as the figurative butt pounding, I received such a blow to my make believe ass today that I ( Read more... )

Ahh. 10:30 am and my day is done. Life is good. Now I have the whole day to... well... Hmmm... Life is good, now I just need one. I am eating pizza for breakfast, which in itself is not so bad, but the fact that it is a pepperoni pizza with barbeque sauce, extra cheese and jalepenos may gross some people out. If you ARE grossed out, good, because ( Read more... )