The "alien face-hugger" is the kisser who seems to think that the best kiss involves getting your entire mouth inside theirs. They make your entire face raw with saliva/slobber and sometimes facial hair. I've had to douse my face in moisturizer multiple times a day for a week just to get my skin back to normal.
Sideways but related, a guy once licked my tear. He was trying to be sweet, but I could only think that it was really odd that he licked rather than kissed.
I hate trying to fight the alien face hugger because it just doesn't work. You try to free your lips and they start playing cat and mouse like you enjoy what they're doing.
The licking thing just gets weird. There are occasions it can be acceptable, like teasing before a "meal". There are also occasions where it just shouldn't happen, such as your cheek in public.
I think the only not awesome kisser I've had is something that is probably best referred to as The Pawnbroker's Daughter (because there is a Songfight for it, so it's better than just "The Pawnbroker"). She basically took a lot of the fluid from my mouth and then gave it back to me later, at an inflated price. It really wasn't so bad, except at the end, when she gave it all back and then just kind of stopped. I think she might've meant it as a parting gift.
Being a bad kisser is one of my huge fears. Not anymore so much, since my partners have basically said that I'm doing all right, but before, I was petrified by the thought of doing something really dumb. I think it was on par of farting really loud during sex or having a pubic lookin' hair on my shirt during a date.
haha. definitely entertaining. I am going to laugh next time i kiss a new girl trying to figure out which category she falls into...i spit my coffee on my computer screen reading it. its going to be bad.
Comments 57
Sideways but related, a guy once licked my tear. He was trying to be sweet, but I could only think that it was really odd that he licked rather than kissed.
Reply
yuckkkkkk! it's like you have no control.. because your mouth is just like... inside theirs. ew
also, i've had the ear lick. it was kinda like an accidental "wet willy"?
Reply
The licking thing just gets weird. There are occasions it can be acceptable, like teasing before a "meal". There are also occasions where it just shouldn't happen, such as your cheek in public.
Reply
Reply
Being a bad kisser is one of my huge fears. Not anymore so much, since my partners have basically said that I'm doing all right, but before, I was petrified by the thought of doing something really dumb. I think it was on par of farting really loud during sex or having a pubic lookin' hair on my shirt during a date.
Reply
also, you have way too many intimacy-related irrational phobias.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment