I think I may close the book on this livejournal. For a while it was an adequate vehicle to express myself to a certain extent. However, I no longer feel like it is. Now that I have begun to write on my own, I find that saying my thoughts publicly is no longer sufficient for my purpose of writing ( Read more... )

This may be sexist, and I'm sorry if it offends, but lately I have noticed that males tend to have horrible social skills, and it is gaining rank on my pet peeve list. I may not be the best conversationalist, or the most socially inclined, but I know the basics, and I am at least aware of my inadequacies.

I'm a bit angry. A bit unsurprised. Part of me just says "fuck it". And another part of me whimpers pathetically. Nothing makes me feel more pathetic than when I care about people more than they do about me. (I need to stop feeling so sorry for myself, Tyne says to herself in a voice resembling that of Nicolas Cage--ha, to:lily ( Read more... )

I frequently wander over to UNL campus between classes at Energy Square in hopes that I will run into someone that I know, friend or otherwise. It is rare that I do. But I continue to look about because of the possibility that I may escape seclusion among strangers at school by encountering someone whose face, voice, and gestures are familiar to me ( Read more... )

Another resolution: I am no longer going to take on the burden of maintaining a conversation. Sometimes, when I am with someone with whom it is hard to keep a dialog flowing I feel this pressure to fill the gaps. I don't know really why this is, but I do it. I try to block the awkward silence with shitty, shitty useless small talk and topics that I ( Read more... )

Okay, one of my resolutions is to keep a journal. A real one. I have never been able to in the past. I'm always afraid that I'll spill secrets out on paper and it will be read and people will discover something about me that I don't want them to (as if I have dark, dark secrets). Or that I will look back at things I have written and think I am an ( Read more... )

2005 is over. I just spent some time reading over the livejournal blurps I have written this past year. It's remarkable how unhappy I sound in most of them. I hope for better in 2006. Daniel spent all morning trying to convince me that this is easily possible. I have a 2-week notice to my employer written on a piece of toilet paper that he helped ( Read more... )

I hate that question, "what's wrong?", though I do not hate when people ask it, just when they want a direct response.

Talk to me about why women compete with each other for attention.

My body lately has been in a constant state of fatigue. I have gotten into a horrible habit of just laying there, comatose, for hours, while my day slips by in front of my closed eyelids. My legs feel like jelly from the lack of activity.