TheUberMaus: Howdy, buckaroo.
The Lawn Robot: Hello, old sport. How fares it with thy happy dead?
TheUberMaus: Heard you had some kinda Texas tour with a bunch of rambunctious females. Ain't ya gonna spill, cowboy?
The Lawn Robot: Yeah, these two girls were going to Austin and said "HEY DO YA WANNA GO?" and I said OK ... I watched girl movies and ( Read more... )

An excerpt from the Velco Dog's life-changing birthday gift, How to Goodbye Depression, by the great prophet of health and good complexion, Hiroyuki Nishigaki.
I think it is effective to cure or prevent depression and become happy-healthy-effecient that you (1)constrict anus 100 times in succession and dent navel 100 times in succession after ( Read more... )

I like that you can pick up an anti-war yard sign at the UConn bookstore, free of charge. I think it really sends out the right message: "Yes! I take the moral high ground! I excercize my god-given right as an American to engage in ineffectual sloganeering! At least long as I don't have to pay cash money to do it!"

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A further ingredient in the hostile reception the plan to attack Iraq has met in the European-to a lesser extent also liberal American-intelligentsia is the justified fear that it could strip away the humanitarian veil covering Balkan and Afghan operations, to reveal too nakedly the imperial realities behind the new militarism. This layer has ( Read more... )

I sometimes have dreams about robots, but they usually involve getting attacked by armies of ruthless-killing-machine-type robots, or being chased around the cotton-candy machine at the county fair by enraged gigolo-type Jude Law look alike robots, both of which cause me to wake up screaming, covered in a cold sweat.
But perhaps I should back up ( Read more... )

I have always thought that LiveJournal exists for two reasons:

1. to remind me that my deepest, innermost self, including my agonizing spiritual quandaries, is in fact utterly unoriginal, shared by that vast, unwashed horde of hairy-backed troglodytes that, among other disgusting personal habits, take to airing their dankly innermost selves via the ( Read more... )

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UberMaus Records is proud to announce our first-ever foray into the local music scene with the signing of our first two bands: Father Jones and the Laymen and Implied Fornication. We saw these bands play down at The Drunk Tank last Saturday night, and, ladies, these boys are HOT!!!
Also, check out these Fun-For-The-Whole-Family releases, just in ( Read more... )

Though it is an event of some magnitude, trayfnyak's LiveJournal debut has been marked by very little fanfare.
The excitement of midterm elections must've distracted the press.

Google search results:
"Squirrel Lovers" - 459
"Chinchilla Lovers" - 161
"Fruitcake Lovers" - 45
"Fungus Lovers" - 7