Fire away.

Merry Chris... [Jack hiccups.] Christmas.

And a Happy New Year!

[One has to wonder why Jack has even bothered to speak. Apparently he finds himself amusing.]

Now tell me when I'm getting off this bloody island. I had to give up some of my rum for that Secret Santa thing. That's just...cruelOh and...Vexen, was it? I may or may not have looked ( Read more... )

[The turkey battle isn't going well. Jack has been cornered on a cliff overlooking the sea. And, unfortunately, he can't negotiate his way out of this one. Turkeys can't understand English - or any other language aside from Turkish (maybe - Jack isn't sure) - so his goose is cooked.]

I see your point! Really, I do! Can't we let this end well? ( Read more... )

[Jack appears on the screen, chasing a particularly loud and squawking turkey. He flails his arms, dodging a shot of gravy with a strange, purely luck induced grace.]

Ha! Try to shoot me again, you land buzzard!

[Taking out his pistol, he takes aim and shoots, sending the turkey flying off screen.]

Never a bore, this place.

Are you sure ( Read more... )

[Jack is sitting outside - as per usual. Only, this time, a strange bird is on top of his head.]

If I hadn' been payin' attention to the Leet thingy, I would say this was strange.

[The bird blinks innocently at the camera, before belting out...]

ALTARIA!

Have you ever wanted your life to mean something? All the fickle matters and ne'er-do-well gibberish amounts in a lot of nonsense, but that, ladies and gentlemen, is your life. It's a lot to take in, isn't it ( Read more... )

Zombies don't bother me.

What truly bothers me is the staggering deficit when it comes to anything alcoholic.

I think it's time that this problem was corrected, aye?

And before you ask "what's in it for me?", I'll have you know that I can be extraordinarily generous when it comes to rum.

Where is my ship?

WHERE. IS. MY. SHIP?!

Do you know what I will do when I catch that mutinous Barbossa? I won't kill him right away. I'll let him stew in some godforsaken place for years and then come back to finish him off.

The Pearl is mine. I don't know how many bloody times I need to say it. She is mine, mine MINESavvy ( Read more... )

( Yo Ho, Yo Ho, The Pirate's Life For Me! )