Clandestine (11/11)
Clandestine (11/11)
Chapter title: A Slight Advantage
Rating: R
Summary: Lamb's death was faked. When the truth is revealed Veronica goes to see him and a secret relationship is formed.
Characters/Pairing: Veronica/Lamb, and other VM characters
Spoilers: entire series but AU from 3X14
Word Count: 2108
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars
This story is based on a fic request from Sweetpea2100
Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, alerted and/or favorite this fic!
A/N: Just to be clear on dates for this fic, Veronica and Lamb got together 6 months after his accident in august right after her 20th birthday, she was shot 10 months later, so in June about 2 months before her 21st birthday and between her sophomore and junior year at Hearst.
Oh and just a reminder, this is a work of fiction, so liberties are taken in regards to situations and circumstances.
links to previous chapters:
Chapter 1: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/58872.html#cutid1
Chapter 2: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/59036.html#cutid1
Chapter 3: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/59560.html#cutid1
Chapter 4: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/59936.html#cutid1
Chapter 5: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/60991.html
Chapter 6: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/61629.html#cutid1
Chapter 7: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/62253.html#cutid1
Chapter 8: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/63359.html
Chapter 9: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/64341.html#cutid1
Chapter 10: http://community.livejournal.com/veronica_lamb/65478.html#cutid1
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As we have seen from the hundreds of love stories conducted in a clandestine nature they almost always end in bloodshed and untimely death.
This was no exception in the case of my daughter and her love. But unlike the majority of the literary, historical and mythical couples; my daughter had an advantage.
She was not the fictional concoction of some author sitting in their office writing a doomed love story. She was not a historical princess, duchess or even peasant who fell for the wrong man and paid for it with her life. And she was not a fairy or goddess whose trials, tribulations and punishments were used to deter others from following in her footsteps.
My daughter was a real, true human being who fell in love with a man that would have given his life if it meant she could keep hers. And her will to live and to love this man surpassed all obstacles.
So while I’m happy I did not predict this plot twist, I should have known that my daughter would refuse to concede to the norm. She’d never done it in any other aspect of her life, so I was a fool to think she’d succumb to such a tragic end.
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As I held her hand I couldn’t get over how still she was.
In all the time I’d known her, all the moments I’d been in her presence, even the ones spent with her asleep in my arms, I’d never seen her so still.
But even though she seemed lifeless, she was still there, maybe not completely but she was and that was the only thing getting me through.
I could still feel her with me, at times just her presence, at others her arms around me and as much as I appreciated her attempts to calm me, it wasn’t enough because I didn’t want her there is spirit, I wanted her there in body. It was time for her to come back to me.
As I spoke to her, telling her how I felt, that I loved her, that Keith had given us his blessing and that it was time for her to wake up and tell me to buck up I was scared to death that she wouldn’t listen. The surgery had been a success, fixing the major damage to her stomach and intestines, but the secondary damage done to her reproductive organs hadn’t been dealt with and couldn’t be until she was more stable. When they told me that there was a possibility that even if she did survive she might not be able to have children I felt my promises to her fading and couldn’t hide the tears. But the worst was the fact that there was still a good chance that she might leave us. The doctors had said that if she made it through the next 24 hours she’d be ok, but she hadn’t woken up and was still in critical condition and neither of those facts boded well.
So I did the only thing I could, I stayed by her side, held her hand, and talked to her. And for awhile I felt like maybe I was getting through to her, or at least hoped that I was and I swear that I could feel the warmth re-entering her body. But then suddenly it was gone and the machines were beeping and people were flooding the room and pushing me out of the way.
I just stood there to the side in shock and terror as the doctors and nurses tried for 15 minutes to get her heartbeat back. 15 minutes spent with my heart breaking and the feeling of her nonexistent arms holding me tight. I was silently begging for god to help us, to let her stay, to bring her back. She deserved a good happy life, after everything she’d gone through it wasn’t fair for her to lose her life so soon.
The one thing I knew for sure was that the sound of that steady beep would haunt me forever. But nothing compared to how I felt when they said she was gone. It wasn’t possible it just wasn’t. I lost it right then and there as I dropped to the ground. I couldn’t allow them to just walk away from her and I actually found myself begging them to keep trying, the whole time I could feel her arms around me, giving me strength as I appealed them. They gave it one more try and when the defibrillator made contact with her and her tiny body shook I couldn’t stop the tears, there was still nothing and I could still feel her holding me.
As they went to shock her again I thought I might die right along with her.
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6 months later
It was late and I was exhausted, it had been 6 months and things still weren’t much better. The worry still had its hold on me and there were days where I almost didn’t even want to get out of bed, let alone leave the house.
As I walked through my apartment I sighed at the boxes, the move wasn’t helping; it was just added stress that I wasn’t handling. But I needed to be strong I’d promised her I would be.
I stepped quietly through the brown cardboard maze and when I entered my bedroom I undressed before sliding between the sheets and rolling onto my side. I smiled as I stared at the blonde who hadn’t stirred with my arrival. She’d gotten used to my late arrivals and long shifts over the previous few months so I wasn’t surprised that she hadn’t woken up. After the shooting there had been an surge in crime with the Sheriff and Chief of Police out of commission and it took us months to get a handle on things. Keith and I’d had our hands full trying to balance work and caring for Veronica, our mutual obsession with her health and safety being worse than ever.
The shooting luckily hadn’t had any long term physical effects for her and after the second surgery and a few weeks in the hospital she was ready to come home. In truth it was the emotional aspects that we’d had the hardest time dealing with. We'd lost her three times that night, twice in the OR and once while I was in the room with her. They’d been about to give up on her but I’d begged them not to and they gave it one more try before calling the time of death. I swear that when I heard that steady beep turn into separate ones on the machine I nearly had a heart attack myself. But even after getting her back she still didn’t wake up right away. She was out of critical care on day two and was taken in for the second surgery that night. Luckily both surgeries had been a success and when she awoke after 3 days of unconsciousness she found Keith and I, who had not left her side the whole time, next to her and we were able to tell her with confidence that she’d be fine.
As happy as she was to hear that she was going to make a full recovery, she still seemed to be apprehensive for the first few weeks. She was affectionate and loving, kissing me and letting me hold her every second she could and I swear that if she could have super-glued me to her side she would have. But as wonderful as that was, it felt like she didn’t think it was real and once she was released and came home with me, I decided it was time to pry. When I’d asked her she'd looked almost guilty, but I soon realized that it wasn’t guilt, it was uncertainty. She told me what she remembered, which wasn’t a lot, but the main thing was Lilly, she swore Lilly was there with her while she was dying. She was afraid I’d think she was crazy and that there was something wrong with her. But I alleviated all of those worries when I told her I’d felt her with me. That conversation ended in the bedroom where we made love for the first time since the day she was shot.
After that things began to improve for her and for us. We bought a small house on the outskirts of the 09’er district, spent 3 months fixing it up to our liking and were finally in the process of moving in.
But despite all the good, I still struggled with the memory of that day, the day I’d almost lost her and I swear to this day that I’ll never let it come to that again. So as I laid there with my hand on her belly tracing the small scar, the only physical reminder of the biggest nightmare of my life, I was once again thanking god for letting her stay with me. It’s amazing how a two inch scar can remind you of such horror, such pain. Sometimes even with her next to me it still almost seemed too good to be true.
I was so focused on the small scar that marred her perfect skin that I didn’t know she’d woken up until I felt a hand on my cheek and I turned to see her smiling face.
I pulled her tank back down over her belly and cupped her face with my hand as I leaned my body over hers and took her lips. When I pulled back she was slightly breathless but still smiling. “You think too much.”
I couldn’t help but laugh at the comment that’d become a favorite of hers over the previous months. And she was right, thinking was something I did too often instead of living and I needed to stop. I leaned in to kiss her again and she sighed when I pulled away. “I know, I know. I love you.”
“I love you too.” Veronica smiled and placed her hand over mine as it rested on her now covered belly. “I wonder what that’s going to look like in a few more months.”
I stared at her for a second, confused by her comment before answering. “Babe, the doctor said it would fade over time, remember? It’ll probably be almost invisible by then.”
She gave me her infamous smirk and turned onto her side before sidling up closer to me and wrapping her arms around me. Mine circled her tiny frame as well as she took a deep breath. “Well yeah, in normal circumstances it would, but I’m a little worried about it getting bigger as I get bigger.”
I started to laugh at her uncharacteristically vain comment before her meaning hit me and my jaw dropped. “What?”
She kissed me quickly and pressed our hands against her taut belly. “I’m kinda hoping for a boy. How about you?”
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That night had been the turning point for us. There was no more living in the past, no more worrying, we didn’t have that option anymore because it wasn’t just us we were living for. From that night on we only looked towards the future.
7 months and 10 days later our son was born, 5 months after that we got married in a small ceremony in our backyard and within another 3 months she was pregnant again.
The next few years were with filled with more changes and all for the better. We moved into a larger house shortly after our second son was born and spent 3 years trying for another baby and having no luck until a drunken New Years Eve brought us the conception of our third child, finally a girl.
Veronica graduated with honors with a Bachelor’s Degree from Hearst at the age of 22 and again with a Master’s Degree at the age of 25. She opened a photography studio with Mac at the age of 26 and they have become one of the most successful studios in Southern California. As for me, well when Keith retired I took over as Chief of Police and Sacks was promoted to Sheriff. But as exciting as all of that was, we were never happier than we were at home with each other and our children.
Life became easier than either of us had ever believed it could be and while we both knew that life would never be a fairy tale, we couldn’t deny the fact that we’d been blessed by something pretty damn close.
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A/N: I’m sorry it took me so long to get this posted. This chapter about killed me, no matter what I wrote I hated it, but thanks to some help from Sweetpea2100 I’m much happier with it now. So enjoy, and thanks for sticking with this fic.
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